


Goodbye Lullaby

by Kunoichi21



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Avril Lavigne - Freeform, F/M, Goodbye Lullaby, M/M, Multi, Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-14 00:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunoichi21/pseuds/Kunoichi21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When this is done, it'll be a series of unrelated oneshots based off of Avril Lavigne's album of the same name. They will not be put up in order. Please enjoy~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square Enix; title of the story and chapter(s) belong to Avril Lavigne. No, I am not making money off of this (but that would be nice). Since this is the first chapter, and I assume that all readers in the future will start with it, I am not including the disclaimer on all chapters. Consider this entire thing disclaimed now.

When Roxas rolled over in the king-sized bed he shared with his fiancé, the last thing he expected was emptiness. Blearily opening his eyes against the bright sunlight shining in through the balcony door, he tried to see where Axel was. The blond sat up slowly, rubbing his still-sleep-heavy eyes against his arm before stretching. Once he was actually awake, Roxas looked around the room, not seeing the redhead anywhere.

' _That's weird… Where could he be?'_  he thought. He glanced down at the nightstand next to his side of the bed, noticing an envelope that hadn't been there the night before. His name was written on the back of the envelope, in what could only be Axel's handwriting, a half-print, half-cursive scrawl. The blond's stomach suddenly felt heavy as lead as he picked the letter up.

_Roxas,_

_I'm very sorry to have to do this to you, but I've been called to action. Something detrimental to the entire country is happening in the Middle East, and they need all available soldiers to fly out immediately. I have no clue when I'm going to be able to come back home, and unfortunately, we will have to post-pone the wedding until further notice. I didn't want to make leaving any harder than it had to be, so I let you sleep while I packed the essentials and drove to the airport for the first available flight to Afghanistan. I know that you'll probably be mad about that, but I can't stand saying goodbye to you, not knowing if I'll come back alive. So please, forgive me in advance…_

_You are the most important part of my life, and I want you to know that my leaving was not by choice. I have to go and leave you all alone, but I hope you always know that I love you so much. You're my personal sunshine, and being with you makes me grateful to be alive. While I'm gone, take care of yourself for me. I know that Ven, Sora and Demyx will help you out as much as they can, but remember that they can only do so much. Don't be too sad that I'm gone, because I will come back, and before you know it, we'll be able to get married._

_Be safe for me, and try to stay happy._

_Goodbye, my love._

_Axel_

Roxas was barely aware of the silent tears streaming down his face and dripping on to the paper he held in his shaking hands. The blond took a quick look at the alarm clock on the desk opposite the bed; it was just after eight o'clock in the morning. Maybe, if he hurried, Roxas could still catch Axel before his flight left. He sprung up as quickly as he could, finding the nearest pair of pants and a t-shirt to throw on. Slipping on a mismatched pair of socks and some tennis shoes and barely stopping to brush his teeth, Roxas bolted out the front door, not remembering to lock it behind him as he ran to his car, fumbling with the keys. Once it was started, he peeled out of the driveway and quickly pulled a U-turn in the direction of the airport. Roxas was praying to every deity there was that Axel's flight was still there.

Finally reaching the damnable building and the always-overcrowded parking lot, Roxas parked as close to the main entrance as possible, locking his car with the keychain and sprinting to the doors as fast as he could. Glancing at the watch he seldom removed, his pulse sped up again. It was 8:18 and his mind was on a one-way track to convincing him that the flight had already left. Not even stopping to catch his breath, he ran up to the counter, huffing.

"Excuse m-me, miss," he panted, "but can y-you tell me… When does the-the next flight to Af-Afghanistan leave?"

The woman behind the counter typed something in her computer and leveled Roxas with a pitying stare. "I'm sorry sir, but the flight is boarding now. If you hurry to Gate C-" the blond took off.

"Thank you!" Roxas shouted over his shoulder to the woman, left there wondering what just happened.

He weaved in and out of crowds, nearly tripped over the brochure and magazine stands in the middle of the hallway advertising different destinations and tourist attractions, and almost fell down trying to turn the corner of another hallway that led to Gate C. Thankfully this hall wasn't quite as full as the main one and Roxas was able to run full speed until he reached the gate, right as Axel was handing the man his boarding pass.

"AXEL!" he shouted. The redhead jumped, obviously startled, and turned around in what seemed like slow motion. Axel dropped his bag just in time to catch his fiancé and not fall over. He was vaguely aware of the fact that Roxas was crying, but all he could concentrate on was holding the blond tightly and whispering in his ear, "I love you," over and over again.

"Oh God Axel, I'm so glad that I caught you… I know you didn't want to say goodbye like this, but it would have killed me if you were already gone by now and if… If I didn't get to see you one last time before you left…" Roxas felt a lump form in his throat that he couldn't speak around anymore.

"Shh. It's okay Roxas… I know." The redhead just held his love, not ever wanting to let go of him again. "Truthfully, I'm glad you were able to get here, too," Axel wiped a tear away from Roxas' cerulean eyes with the pad of his thumb. He pressed a tender kiss to the blond's lips, trying to communicate his love through his actions. Roxas' instincts took over, and his hands moved automatically to tangle in thick red hair when he remembered,  _'Oh yea… It's not there anymore.'_  His fingers yearned to feel the soft locks once more, but he knew in time that would happen again.

Axel deepened the kiss slightly, tasting his lover for the last time until sometime in the fall. Before he lost control of himself he pulled back, just enough to rest his forehead against Roxas'. Peridot green eyes met lapis lazuli blue in a heartbroken stare. By now, the other passengers – most of whom were other soldiers – had all boarded the plane. The man in charge of getting the passengers checked out cleared his throat to remind Axel that the flight was waiting on him.

A single tear escaped down Axel's cheek as he fought down the urge to sob. Every time he'd said goodbye became more and more painful than the last.

Roxas spoke quietly, "Don't you go getting yourself killed over there. You hear me?"

"Hah!" Axel laughed in a hollow voice, "sure thing, babe. I'd never leave you like that. I love you."

"I love you, too. Go on now… They're waiting."

The couple shared another quick kiss and embraced like they'd never see the other again. And before Roxas could believe it, Axel was picking his bag up off the floor and walking out to the plane from the walkway connected to the building.

A few minutes after Axel had boarded, the walkway was retracting from the plane and the door was closing and suddenly they were taking off. Roxas watched in despair as the plane disappeared into the sky, headed for the Middle East.

~o~

The months seemed to drag for Roxas, who kept counting the days since he'd last seen Axel; 278 days had passed. The spring came and went, as did the wedding date in June. Summer crept by at a snail's pace and the season found itself in autumn. The temperatures were starting to cool down; leaves were changing colors and being pulled from trees by the slightest of breezes. It was the kind of weather where Roxas could finally stand to have a few friends over for a barbecue so he wouldn't be alone. He wasn't quite as good on the grill as Axel was, but there wasn't much to be done about that.

Roxas invited his twin Ventus, their cousin Sora, Sora's boyfriend Riku, Kairi, Naminé, his best friend Demyx, and Demyx's roommate Zexion. Ventus went ahead and invited Terra and Aqua, because they'd been friends with the twins' family for a few years. With a full backyard, Roxas didn't quite feel the ache he always felt when Axel was gone. He'd set up to make burgers and hot dogs if others brought side dishes. With the last of the meat finishing on the grill, Sora set the outdoor table, while Demyx started bringing all the sides over to put on it. There was now enough food to feed the small party, consisting of macaroni and cheese, baked beans, potato chips, coleslaw, chicken salad, and corn on the cob.

Everyone grabbed a plate and utensils and sat down to eat. Just as Roxas was finishing getting his food, he heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll be right back guys, I think there's someone at the door," he explained.  _'That's weird… I don't remember inviting anyone else.'_

The blond tried to see who it was before he got to the door by looking through the narrow windows on either side of the front door. He didn't see anyone, however, and continued his trek across the living room. Upon reaching the door, he checked through the peephole, only to realize someone had put their finger over it so he couldn't see them without opening the door.

Quizzically, Roxas cracked the door for a glimpse at the stranger when he realized the person on his front porch was the furthest from a stranger anyone could be. Blue eyes brightened considerably when they met the malachite eyes of none other than Axel. The door was flung wide open and Roxas immediately jumped into his fiancé's arms, wrapping his legs around the skinny waist of the redhead. Axel's hands supported the blond's legs while his lips got reacquainted with Roxas' in a very sloppy kiss. Teeth and tongues gnashed and wrestled and Roxas forgot that he hadn't seen Axel for nine months; forgot about anything and everything that wasn't Axel because now that's all there was in his world.

They parted when breathing through their noses wasn't quite substantial enough to keep them conscious, and Axel set Roxas down gently and hugged the lithe form against himself.

"Hey stranger," the blond said.

"Roxas. Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. I missed you so much. God, did I miss you," Axel replied.

Sniffling, Roxas choked out, "Yea, I missed you, too, love." They stood like that for a few minutes until Roxas remembered there was food in the back, along with all his friends and family.

"Hey, you wanna join me for dinner? You're just in time. The whole group's here and we're having a barbecue."

"I would love to join you for dinner. Especially after having to put up with crappy airline food for the last thirteen hours. I just wanna put my bag up first," the redhead accepted.

"Oh, God, and here I am just standing here! Let me take your bag to the bedroom, and we can go out there together," said Roxas, smiling. He took the proffered bag in one hand and Axel's hand in his other. Their fingers laced together immediately. The petite blond led them to the bedroom and set Axel's bag on their bed. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist from behind, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Before we go back out there, I want another kiss."

"Yes sir, Soldier," Roxas complied, spinning around to face the redhead fully. This kiss wasn't as desperate as the previous one was. This one spoke of familiarity, of practiced ease in the perfect melding of two mouths slowly becoming one. This kiss was a promise of things to come later in the week, after the jetlag was gone.

"We should get out there before all the food is gone, you know," the blond whispered against Axel's lips, eyes still blissfully closed.

"I guess you're right," Axel pecked the smaller one's lips again. "Shall we?" he asked, already starting to lead the way to the backyard, Roxas in tow.

When the back door opened to allow the couple to rejoin their friends, all chatter at the table stopped. That is, until, Demyx yelled as loud as he could, "OH MY GOD AXEL'S BACK!" and proceeded to tackle the soldier to the ground. The rest of the evening was filled with renewed excitement and celebrating. But most importantly, now that Axel was back, the wedding was back on and would definitely happen as soon as possible. Sora and Kairi swore to make it happen.

~fin~


	2. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started working on Push before this one, but I think I might just restart it because I have no inspiration to move on or work on it at all... And when the idea for this one struck me, I couldn't let it go, so I started working on it instead! I've never written Larxene before, but I really like how I made her character come out. For those of you expecting yaoi, I'm sorry to say there's only a slight mention of it. :/ But I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! (As a side note, I finished this thing at 13,547 words. Longest thing I've ever written, by a long shot.)

Larxene didn't mean to fall in love. Really. She didn't. It just sort of happened.

She and Axel had been together for about a year. However, the past few weeks, Axel had been distant, almost avoiding her. She didn't know why. So she swore to find out.

Axel's one class for the day had just been released, and Larxene was lying in wait. Once she saw him leave the room, she followed a little farther behind, so as not to be caught. The redhead walked swiftly to his car, dropping his backpack in the passenger seat, and shutting the door and locking the vehicle again. With his burden unloaded, he picked up his pace a bit and stepped into a coffee shop a couple blocks away from the campus. When Larxene didn't see him pop back out a few minutes later, she ducked inside, assuming this to be his destination. She saw the red spikes near the back of the café, sitting at a table with some other blue-eyed blond. The mysterious blond looked to be a few years older than Larxene, holding himself with an air of maturity and the obvious "I've been in college for a couple years now" look. Larxene was just finishing her senior year in high school.

Larxene realized this was a new friend of Axel's, because she already knew his current friends quite well. Who could he be? Is he the one Axel's been avoiding her for? They laugh like they've got a million inside jokes with each other. And then Axel did something unbelievable. He leaned across the table and kissed the guy! Oh, Larxene felt a rush of adrenaline and rage building up inside her. If this were a cartoon, she'd have a face redder than Axel's hair and steam coming from her ears. She was so pissed off. Axel had been avoiding her. Axel had been avoiding her for another blue-eyed blond. Axel had been avoiding her for a guy. And worse, Axel was cheating on her with said guy. Something inside her snapped when the redhead stood, obviously preparing to leave. He was oblivious to her presence. When he and the other male were coming up on her table, she stood and blocked their path. Without uttering a word, she slapped Axel as hard as she could, leaving an already reddening handprint on his face. Axel was shocked and speechless. The blond beside him openly gaped at her, obviously not knowing about her at all. He looked about to say something when Larxene cut him off.

"Don't. Even. Say. Anything. Apparently dating someone for a year isn't enough to warrant introductions, so I'll do it. I'm Larxene, Axel's  _ex_ girlfriend as of now," she said in a low growl towards Axel's companion. "As for you, you cheating bastard," she turned to Axel, "don't you ever come near me again. Or I swear to God I'll beat your ass to the ground and your face will be a bloody pulp by the time I'm done with you." She spat in his face.

With that, she left the coffee shop, leaving an obvious electric tension between Axel, Roxas, and the rest of the guests inside.

"Axel. You never told me you were in a relationship. And with a girl? You said you weren't interested in girls. And yet you've been with her for a year? What the hell, man!" Roxas took his turn shouting at Axel, flabbergasted.

"No, Roxas let me explain. Please," Axel's eyes locked with Roxas' in a very shamed stare. "I only just recently figured out my sexuality. I've been with Larxene since before I started questioning it, and I swear I was going to break it off. I just… I didn't know how to go about doing it. And now, I can't even explain to her this whole thing without the threat of having my ass kicked – and trust me, she could do it. But now she's probably gonna go home and sit there thinking that she's the one who made me like this, made me gay. I hate to have her be so pissed off at me, because it was not my intention to cheat… I just… I figured if I turned out to be straight after all, I didn't want to lose that relationship… I mean, do you understand where I'm coming from?"

"No, Axel, I can't say that I do. Apparently we all need to sort our priorities, you especially. For the rest of the week, I'm not talking to you and if you try to talk to me, don't expect an answer. Later," Roxas left the coffee shop as well. His words may as well have been another slap in Axel's face. The other customers sent mixed reactions to the scene that just played out. Women gave him the cold shoulder, men just openly glared. The redhead decided it was his turn to go, and he left.

Larxene – already home by the time the other two left the shop – was in her room, gathering up all the gifts she'd ever gotten from Axel, all the pictures of them together, all the little reminders of him and brought them outside, dropping them onto a pile of dead leaves and setting fire to them. She sat outside, watching the flames erase any trace of the relationship she'd so foolishly believed in. She gazed into the fire, hatred written all over her face. But her eyes didn't see anything. Those sapphire eyes were clouded with tears waiting to fall, though she bid them not to and they didn't. Only when she got up, when the fire died out, did one tear dare break from the rest, leaving a small trail down her cheek.

That was the only one to escape. She suppressed the rest of her tears, her heartache, and her pain. She pushed it all deep down inside of her, because maybe if it stayed buried deep and long enough, it was never really there in the first place. But that wasn't true, it just turned bitter in her mind and Larxene found herself lashing out at everyone – teachers, classmates, her parents, her older brother Luxord, anyone that tried talking to her. She started developing severe anger issues, often threatening fights for being looked at. People nicknamed her the Crazy Bitch. She didn't care. She had been betrayed by someone she loved, and rather than show her pain to everyone else, she covered it with the protective mask of fury. Because if people didn't get close to her, and she to them, they couldn't hurt her like Axel did. At least, that was how she reasoned it.

Only when she punched the mirror in one of the bathrooms at school did her principal call her parents and the counselor in his office for a meeting on how to get the girl under control. Next thing Larxene knew, she had joined the meeting and was being put into anger management and therapy on the risk of suspension and possible expulsion if she kept her behavior up. That's when the whispering behind her back started. She knew she had to keep everything together, if only for the sake of graduating on time, lest she look like a fool in front of everyone else. Despite what anyone might think, Larxene did care about her reputation and how people saw her. If they thought her laughable, for being so smitten with someone who obviously didn't love her, if they thought her an idiot for allowing that to get in the way of her studies and academic standing, what did she have left except some empty shell of a girl everyone used to love being around?

So she went to her therapy sessions, she went to her anger management classes, but she didn't participate in either. No, after she realized the horrible mistake she'd made in pushing everyone away, she withdrew from all contact with anyone, punishing herself for everything. She became very depressed, her grades started falling, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want anyone to know the mess she'd made of things in her life, but she didn't want to keep it all to herself anymore. She needed a stranger, someone who wasn't going to judge her because of her mistakes. She needed release from all this pressure she put herself under. By chance, on a weekend walk to escape her house, she found someone to help her with that release. They provided her with a pill, something to make her feel good again, and she paid the fifty dollars she had in her wallet. Keeping the tablet in the baggie for later, Larxene went to a shady convenience store where the clerk never carded anyone appearing to be 21. So she bought a six-pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade – a personal favorite of hers – with her credit card and went to a local haunt for people her age.

Thankfully the secluded not-quite-a-park was empty at this time of day, and Larxene could enjoy a little peace and quiet. She sat on the lone swing attached to the old oak tree there, her lemonade on the ground beside her. She grabbed a bottle, opening it with ease, and took a swig. Not too strong, but enough to alleviate the weight building itself up in her stomach. Slipping nimble fingers into the pocket of her pikachu hoodie, Larxene pulled the baggie out, examining the small pill inside. It was nondescript, the only feature setting it apart from prescription pills being a dollar sign. Almost without thinking and just doing, she opened the baggie and dumped the pill into her hand, immediately dropping it on her tongue and taking another swig of her lemonade.

The high Larxene experienced that day made her feel better than she had ever felt in her life. Suddenly, with one little, white pill, her life had picked up. Everything seemed brighter, richer, bolder, almost  _blinding_  in its beauty. It was all overwhelmingly dazzling. Her face lit up like a child in a candy store, for the first time in many months. Her smile was genuine, taking in all the sudden grandeur of her surroundings. The trees, the grass, even the old, rotting barn a little ways out into the field were more colorful, more vivid, just  _more_. Everything about Larxene's life that had been wrong before was so  _right_  at this point and there was a definite chance that this little pill would become Larxene's new best friend. There would be hell to pay if it didn't.

To say that people were aware of the change in Larxene's behavior would be a drastic understatement. It was glaringly obvious to anyone with eyes, ears, and half a brain. She was continually happy about anything and everything in general. Her old friends, who were wary at first, began returning her sudden and unexplained affections. They simply thought she had finally gotten over whatever was causing her introversion and depression and was feeling better. Teachers noted her relaxed state of mind during classes, the carefree attitude she adopted. Her parents started commenting on her excessive weight loss, which Larxene explained as, "getting rid of her fat," in preparation for the coming summer months. She started bringing sandwich bags of candy with her everywhere, filled with a mix of colored gummies and hard candies. Skittles, M&M's, Smartees, Mike 'n Ike's, gummy bears, and a plethora of other snack items. Her addiction was cleverly disguised among the candy, and no one thought twice about what was really causing her happiness.

When Larxene wasn't under the influence of her addiction, it was almost as if the world was in grayscale and covered in a fog that blurred the details of everything. She became paranoid about things most people wouldn't ever think of. Suckers and their discarded wrappers were being found all over her room, amongst the strangest thing: baby binkies. This was when her parents became worried. They contacted a doctor who warned them to be prepared for their worst nightmare. He confirmed their fears with the simple statement that their daughter was using ecstasy.

Upon learning of this evil plaguing Larxene, they immediately pulled her from school and drove her to a rehab facility. The look on her face was reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights. She'd been found out and now she was  _freaking the fuck out_. Outwardly, she appeared frightened and nervous; inside, her mind was utter chaos. She wasn't ready to give up her happiness yet! What was so wrong with it anyways? Couldn't they see she was better? She didn't understand, couldn't understand. Surely her parents  _knew_  that taking away her happy pills would destroy her.

~o~

Larxene's first week in the rehab clinic was Hell on earth. Detoxing from anything was always a bitch, but when it made you paranoid, depressed, anxious and jumpy, and unable to sleep, well, that just made it worse. The nightmares started the second week. Now, Larxene had never been afraid of the dark, but when she started dreaming about these big shadows with sharp teeth and bright yellow eyes jumping out of a dark corner to eat her heart, she demanded that she be allowed to keep a light on when she slept. That's not to say she slept often, however. Most nights, she just sat up in bed, finding patterns in the textured ceiling by lamplight. When she did sleep, it was fitful, conjuring the shadow monsters in her mind again, startling her awake, most often covered in sweat and heart racing.

In her third week at the clinic, Larxene's physical reactions to the withdrawal had started to fade. Mentally, she was a train wreck. This is when the staff of nurses at the facility started letting her out of her room to get some social interaction with other patients. Larxene wasn't talking though. She observed the other patients with a criticism worthy of the preps at her high school. She thought them all a level or more below her. Like this one patient who had black hair and a grayish white streak through it – who wore an eye patch. Was he a pirate or something? No, he talked like a surfer from Cali. Whatever.

Then she noticed cotton-candy pink hair. And the striking blue eyes. And suddenly those sapphire eyes turned Larxene's way and the man started walking over to her.

"Hey, what's your name? I haven't seen you before, are you a new patient?" he spoke in an eloquent voice. It was quiet, calming, but most of all, it sounded  _safe_. It sounded familiar in a way, but she was positive she'd never met this man before. She'd have remembered the pink hair.

"I'm Larxene," she whispered in a voice hoarse from not speaking in a few weeks. She looked up from beneath her eyelashes to meet his gaze.

"Well, Larxene, it's nice to meet you. I'm Marluxia. I'm kind of a therapist here." At that statement, the blonde quirked an eyebrow. "What I mean is, I go around the clinic and talk to the other patients about their addictions, what got them in here in the first place, and I try to help them become more dependent on themselves than the drugs they were using. That way they can get out of here quicker. Most people here find me easier to talk to than some of the actual therapists, because I'm closer to their ages, and besides that, I've been in their shoes."

"You… You used to be an addict?" she questioned him.

Marluxia nodded his head, "It's not something I'm proud of, but because of my experience, I get to help other people become stronger. And that makes it worth it. See, when I was about 13, I started trying to fit in with the popular crowd, so I would go to their parties. And at these parties, alcohol was kind of a big thing. But as I got older, the alcohol wasn't the cool thing anymore. Marijuana was. So when we all got drunk, we got high too. After a while though, that high wasn't enough for some of the partiers. So they started getting other drugs, cocaine and meth among them. I didn't  _want_  to try them, but I had gained a lot of popularity, so to keep it, I tried them. I was becoming king of the "it" crowd, and to keep getting better drugs, me and a couple of the other kids started selling the marijuana we had, and we dropped acid. I was so out of it, I couldn't even remember my name when I was tripping. Then, someone decided it would be a good idea to shoot me up with heroin and see what happened. I was still tripping on the acid when they did that, and… Heroin makes you angry… It gets your blood pumping and your heart pounding, and you get this adrenaline rush like no other feeling in the world. And I got blinded by this fury inside me. I don't know where it came from, but I was just pissed at everything, and I wanted to take my anger out on something, or someone. So that's exactly what I did. I figured out which guy shot me up and beat him nearly to death. My other so-called friends called the cops on me and I was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery in the first degree.

"When I found out the consequences of my actions, they said I would either be put in rehab and then jail, or I could get clean and sober, be on probation, and do a thousand hours of community service. So while I was detoxing from all the drugs in my system, I reflected on my actions, on my motivations, and I realized I had a lot of work to do if I was going to go out and live my life the way I wanted to, and not according to how the others wanted me to. I got cleaned up, went to court again and put in my guilty plea, and publically apologized to the guy's family and our friends. And because I showed remorse, and because it was my first offense, the judge sentenced me to the community service. By that point, I'd made a lot of progress with my therapists at the clinic I was in, so I started talking to the other patients and helping them out. Then I talked to the staff at the clinic about setting up a confidential program where I could speak to them all at once, to show them that there is hope for any situation.

"After I completed all the hours of community service, I'd come to love what I was doing, so I make it a point to go to different rehab facilities all around to talk to the patients there and offer them support. I usually stay about a month at each facility, but this one… I stay here for a period of three months. Because this clinic helped me to get back on my feet and gave me direction in my life. I stayed here when I was detoxing. All that happened from the time I was 13 until I was 18. I've made a lot of people change where they were headed for the future and the staff here is like my family. I think you'll come to like everyone here, Larxene. They do a spectacular job of helping you in every way possible, and I'll be right there with them to help you personally."

Larxene was speechless. She'd never pegged this guy for someone like that. And she was normally right on the dot when it came to reading people.

"Speaking of this clinic… I was high when my parents made me come here, and I don't remember the name…" Larxene looked to her feet in shame.

"You, my dear, are at the Destiny Islands Rehabilitation Clinic and Recovery Center," Marluxia informed her. "And trust me when I say that the staff here is wonderful. They might seem a little perky at first, but you get used to it." He winked at her. Larxene blushed a little bit, wondering when she'd become a fourteen year old again.

"Destiny Islands? Isn't this a resort kind of place?"

"Well yes, but you're on the other side of the main island from the resorts and tourist destinations. This side of the island is closed off from tourists to offer privacy when the patients go outside for some much needed fresh air. In fact, that sounds good right about now, care to join me?"

"Oh… Um. Well… I… Yes," she replied, obviously taken aback. No one had ever acted this nicely to her – even her closest friends.

Marluxia offered his hand to Larxene so they could walk outside together. She bashfully accepted it and stood, immediately noticing that his arm went around her shoulder, almost unconsciously. He was telling her a little bit about some of the staff who were still here from when he had stayed, but she wasn't really listening. She was biting her lip, wondering why this stranger was treating her like this. Obviously he was a good guy, but he didn't even know her. She realized that they'd stopped walking and looked up to see the most beautiful garden in existence. She audibly gasped, awestruck.

"Do you like it?"

"I… I'm shocked. This is gorgeous… I've never seen… Anything like it. It's so beautiful," Larxene said. She could have sworn she heard Marluxia say 'so are you.' But maybe she was just imagining it.

"Thank you. I started this garden when I stayed here, to help give me something to do. Ever since I've started talking to patients elsewhere, there's been a gardener to look after it while I'm gone, but it's stayed alive year-round since I planted it. I guess you could say I have a green thumb," he smiled at her.

"Wait, you  _planted_  this garden? How on earth… It's. Wow…"

"But enough about me, dear. What got you here anyway?" he sat down on a bench underneath a flowering pear tree, patting the seat next to him.

"Well… See, I was in a relationship with a guy for over a year, but for the last two weeks of it, he started pulling away from me, avoiding me. And one day, I tailed him from his class to a little café a short way from the college campus, and when I got inside, I saw him sitting with this other guy; coincidentally, he had blonde hair and blue eyes too. Anyway… They started laughing, and they looked really close, and then… Then they kissed," she whispered the last part. "I got up and stood in front of the exit when they were leaving and broke it off with him. That was almost two months ago. I started getting really depressed and really pissed off at everyone around me. Even my brother Luxord. And he was home for Christmas and the beginning of January when that happened. I was in anger management after I punched a mirror in the bathroom at school. After the anger faded away, I was just so depressed I didn't even want to do anything. So one day, I was on a walk, just to escape my parents and I was on the verge of telling someone what happened when this guy approached me and said I looked like I could use a 'pick-me-up.'

"He gave me a baggie with this little white pill in it, and I tried it… And that high I got. It was like nothing I've ever experienced. I felt so much better than I had at any point during my life. So I started getting more to take with me to school, mixed in with candy, so no one would know. Eventually, I started talking to my old friends again and it was like nothing happened to me. It was like old times, except they were wary of me. It wasn't until after I started losing a bunch of weight and using pacifiers to keep from grinding my teeth that my parents started catching on. The day they brought me here, I had been pulled from class, wondering what the hell was going on. I don't remember much of that day, except that they had to restrain me to get me inside…" Larxene felt tears threatening to spill now that someone finally knew the whole story. "My first week was the worst. Withdrawal was a bitch to go through, and the nightmares I got don't help at all…"

"Larxene, I don't blame you at all for doing what you did. If someone you love betrays you, I know it can be hell to go through. No one deserves to be treated like that, by anyone. And I can guarantee if I knew them, I'd make them pay for the consequences of their actions. Does he even know what he put you through?"

A lump had formed in Larxene's throat, so she shook her head. Then the tears fell.

"I haven't talked to him since I broke up with him," she said, sobbing. Everything she'd suppressed was breaking its way out to the surface and  _damn did it hurt_. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, letting everything out. Marluxia turned towards her and just held her while she let the past encompass her. At some point during her grievance, she hugged herself closer to this new friend she'd made while he stroked her hair and rubbed soothing patterns on her back. Eventually, she wore herself out and the intense crying and lack of sleep caught up with her as she passed out on Marluxia's chest. She was still clinging to him, afraid to let him go, even unconsciously. Her nightmares didn't plague her as she rested, and Marluxia carried her back to her room.

A nurse stopped him in the hallway to ask what happened.

"I told her what I do at these clinics, and shared my story with her, and she provided hers in return. I think this is the first time she's actually thought about what happened though, and she cried herself to sleep. So I'm just taking her back to her room right now, to let her sleep. She said she's been having nightmares and I don't think she's slept the entire time she's been here. And… She's kind of attached to me, apparently, because she's clinging to me as hard as she can and won't let go, so I think I should probably stay with her until she wakes up. Just bring her dinner to her room, would you, Selphie?"

"Of course, Marly. And by the way, I'm glad you're back. We missed you," the brunette smiled at him.

"I missed everyone else, too, Selph. Always do. Anyway, I'll talk to you later this evening so I can get settled in again. Thanks!" he nodded his head at her and continued on his way. Thankfully, things hadn't changed too much from when Marluxia had been a patient and the names were still printed on tabs outside of the rooms. Her room was just off the main hallway. He stepped inside and set the blonde down on her bed, taking a seat beside her. She still had one hand clenched in his shirt. He smiled down at Larxene, unaware that he was the reason her nightmares stayed at bay.

Marluxia wasn't sure how long Larxene stayed asleep – there were no clocks in the rooms – but eventually she started stirring.

"…Xel…"

The man was taken by surprise a little bit at Larxene's sleep-slurred talking. However, he heard no more after that syllable, because she blearily opened her eyes against the light of the setting sun.

"Mmm, what happened? Where am I?" she said, obviously still waking up.

Marluxia responded in a quiet voice, "You shared your story with me, and I  _think_  that was the first time you allowed yourself to process everything, because you broke down hysterically and while I was trying to comfort you… You cried yourself to sleep on me. So I carried you back to your room to sleep properly."

"So why are you still here?" Larxene asked, confused.

"You wouldn't let go of my shirt," he chuckled.

Upon hearing his words, Larxene pulled her hand back like it had been burned. She hadn't been aware she'd been clutching onto him still.

"I didn't say I minded, did I?" Marluxia smirked at her.

Larxene swore her face was so hot, her skin would melt off. This guy that she'd only just met was hardcore flirting with her – and she was enjoying it. Even when she had been with Axel, she didn't get that much attention. But then something struck her.

"I… I, um, just realized something," she started. "I don't know how old you are now…"

"I just turned twenty three back in January. May I ask why you wanted to know?"

"Because I'm still seventeen. I'll be eighteen in July."

After a beat of silence, the pink haired man replied, "Does this mean you're interested?" He held his breath.

"I'm…curious to see where this could go."

"Oh, good," he breathed a sigh of relief. "I was afraid I was being too forward, but… There's something about you that I just feel this pull towards. I can't explain it. But the moment I saw you, I had to know you."

~o~

Larxene grew closer to Marluxia day by day, and she learned something new about him at every opportunity. He joined the therapist in the group counseling sessions, where Cali-surfer-pirate-dude admitted that he'd been put in this place by his boss to keep from losing his job. He was a stoner with hardened habits. Larxene shared her story with the group, leaving out the part about starting a relationship with Marluxia. She made tremendous progress in dealing with everything during all her therapy sessions, and soon enough, the clinic got in contact with Larxene's high school to send her the assignments she needed to make up so that she could still graduate in May.

Marluxia helped her with catching back up to her peers, and before they knew it, it was May and Larxene was all caught up on her missed assignments and projects and would be walking across the stage at the college in town (where Axel attended classes) to get her diploma. She made a point not to talk to any of her classmates – they would only try to start drama with her. Her parents, Luxord, and Marluxia – who was sitting in a separate area – had all come to see the ceremony and cheer her on when they called her name. The school's band played  _Pomp and Circumstance_  while the graduates walked in to the large gymnasium; the high school's was too small for the ceremony and this way, they could seat the graduates away from their families for an event that needed order. Once everyone was finally in the large room, the families rose from their seats, as did the staff sitting on the stage. Despite the fact that everyone in the room was an adult (except for some family members), they still did the Pledge of Allegiance.

Once most of the formalities were over, the head principal walked up to the microphone, announcing how proud he was of every student that had made it this far. He made some speech that Larxene pretended to listen to about their futures and how they each had a bright one ahead of them. Then the head of administration got up and made another, similar speech. To Larxene it was all just a bunch of bullshit that was recycled every year. They were probably just glad to get the kids out of the damn school. Or maybe that was Larxene's more cynical side speaking. Either way, it was a long and boring ceremony. A few of the teachers that were sitting on the stage got up to speak a few words to their former students before the choir got up to sing a song about the future and lifting wings or some shit like that.

Then the valedictorian got up to the stage and made a speech about how they survived the most hectic four years of their lives thus far. He made a lot of jokes about the big events that had happened, commented on the few events worth being sad about (a few students died in a car accident early on in the year), and gave a final inspiring statement about how the students should live out their lives to the best extent possible. Then it was time for each student in academic clubs to stand and receive applause for the strides they took. Then,  _finally_ , it was time for the students to walk across the stage. One by one, in alphabetical order they went as their names were called. Thankfully, Larxene was at the beginning and didn't have to wait long before her name was called.

"…Aqua Amaya," the head principal called. The girl in front of Larxene sashayed up the ramp and across the stage, stopping in the middle to shake hands with the officials of the school. At the other end of the stage, she received the long-awaited document that controlled her future. "Larxene Audra." She heard a few gasps of surprise from the families watching; apparently they didn't know she was graduating with the rest of the class. She then heard her family whooping and hollering – making total fools of themselves – for her. When she looked up into the crowd, she looked past her family and to the row where Marluxia was sitting. He winked at her and she smiled back up at him, grateful in every way that she was at this point all because of _him_. Had she not met him, there would have been zero chance of her graduating on time. She simply couldn't have done all the work alone.

She smiled at the officials before her, shaking their hands as the girl before her had done. At the other side of the stage another nameless face gave her the diploma she'd worked her ass off for. She followed the students who had already walked back to the row at which they were seated, finding hers with ease. Now the rest of the class had to walk like she had. All five hundred and seventy five of them. Larxene closed her eyes, deciding to get a little rest in before she went out to celebrate with her family and Marluxia. She still needed to introduce them, if she thought about it. She'd talked to her parents about him when they called, but they hadn't been able to visit her before she graduated high school, so they hadn't had the chance to meet in person before today.

The names being called never seemed to end, and most everyone seemed to be getting bored, until  _at last_  the final name had been called. "Xion Zillah." As the students returned to their seats once more, the crowds around them began cheering wildly. The valedictorian rose to the stage again saying that it was time to move the tassels on their hats. That officially marked the end of their high school careers. With yells emitting from the graduates, most of the hats were tossed into the air, only to come back down all at once, so finding your own hat again was likely to be impossible. The students were instructed to leave the gymnasium and go back to the room next door, where they'd come from at the start. Families started abandoning the bleachers they'd been seated at to find their child and take them out to celebrate.

Larxene waited by the door, eager to leave. It was noisy and hot in this room, with people laughing, yelling, and getting all the immaturity out of their veins while they could. Others stood in corners, gaggling girls crying over how they wouldn't be able to see each other after they left this place, the musclemen of the sports teams looking dejected because they had to split up and go their separate ways to take advantage of the scholarships they'd been offered at various universities around the country. She watched with disdain, her former friends glancing her way, talking amongst themselves, and then laughing. The blonde glared daggers at the group; she knew they were gossiping about her, no doubt about why she was pulled from school in the middle of the semester. Her parents told the school the real reason, but if anyone asked, there was a family crisis.

"Larxene!" her name was shouted from the adjoining hallway. She turned to see a smiling Marluxia walking towards her. Apparently he'd navigated the crowds better than her family.

"Marly!" She ran to him and gave him a hug. "Thank you, so much, for all the help you gave me. There's no way I could have done this without you. It's kind of impossible to explain how grateful I am for everything," she said as her eyes welled up with tears of happiness. She gave Marluxia her most genuine smile and he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "No thanks necessary, Dollface. I'm happy to help you. Not only because that's what I do for a living, but I genuinely want to see you succeed. And I know you can do it. You're a very strong person, Larxene, very persistent and so deserving of a great future. You already had the necessary steps to do this; I just gave you the push you needed to get over the bump in the road—" Larxene cut him off with a quick kiss, just a light peck of lips on lips. The surprise on Marluxia's face disappeared as quickly as it had come while the blonde laughed and shared a grin on her pixie-like face. Looking over Marluxia's shoulder, she spied her family coming towards them, finally out of the gymnasium.

"So, not to freak you out or anything, but you're about to meet my family. Best behavior!" she let go of him and put a little bit of space between them. She walked a little bit in front of him to speak with her family before introductions were made. Luxord came up to her first, giving her a heartfelt congratulations and his customary, brotherly one-armed hug. "I could not be more proud to call you my sister, Larxene. I'm so happy for you," he smiled down at her affectionately.

"Thanks, Lux. That means a lot."

Before she could say much else, she was interrupted with a cry of, "My baby's all grown up now!" Her mother joined the two in tears, obviously overwhelmed by the situation and being very motherly. Her father wasn't far behind and squeezed her gently in his bear-like arms. "Congratulations, sweetie. You've come a long way from where you were."

"We're so proud of you, Larxene. Not even two months ago, we were scared your life was going to stay on the wrong path, and now look at where you are. Graduated from high school after missing a month and completely caught up, maintaining being clean… I'm so proud of you, baby," her mother was on the verge of hysterics when a casual 'ahem' was thrown into the conversation. Larxene stepped back from the family moment and just off to the side to make room for Marluxia.

"Mom, dad, Luxord, I'd like you to meet my peer counselor, my tutor, my whole reason for even getting this far," she grinned at him again.

"It's nice to meet you all. My name is Marluxia Vanamo. I've heard a few stories about you from Larxene," he conversed.

"Marluxia, it's so good to finally meet you. Larxene has told us so much about you," Larxene's mother replied. "My name is Celeste. This is my husband Taranis." They shook hands respectively.

"My name's Luxord, mate. Nice to meet you," he spoke in his always-there British accent, even though he wasn't really British.

"Pleasure's all mine, Luxord. I hear you like to play poker," Marluxia said. Larxene tuned that particular conversation out to watch the twenty three year old out of the corner of her eye. She had a feeling that her brother and Marluxia would grow to be close friends.

The Audras and Marluxia headed out of the building, Larxene removing her cap and gown to reveal a flowing midnight blue tank top that faded to black at the bottom, black capris, and blue and black striped heels. Her jaw length hair fell around her face in loose curls, a halo of gold. What? She could be a girly-girl when she wanted to be. Anyone who said otherwise was an ignorant ass.

Before weaving through the parking lot to find their cars, they collaborated on where to go for dinner, giving Larxene the choice. She gave the name of her favorite seafood restaurant, Atlantica. They served more exotic dishes than other seafood places, like Caribbean crab, eel, tiger shark, and manta ray. Thankfully the wait for their party wasn't long and they were seated in a large, corner booth which sat next to the aquarium the restaurant held for the customers to look at. A thin, wiry blond waiter named Hayner came and offered to start them off with some drinks and calamari. They ordered their drinks – most of which were water – and declined the appetizer. He promised to return in a few minutes with their drinks and gave them time to look over the menu.

They took a few minutes each to look at the exotic fishes offered as meals, deciding on very different dishes so they could all try something new. Upon Hayner's return, they placed the order, with Marluxia  _insisting_  he would pay for his own food, and with that, they were left to their own devices.

"So Larxene," Celeste started, "you never did tell us what happened with Axel. We haven't seen or heard from him in a long time."

Larxene paled and shifted nervously. How could she tell her parents that Axel was the cause of her drug addiction? They'd surely kill him. Just as she was about to respond, who else but the aforementioned redhead and  _that blond boy from before_  should walk in the door. Internally, Larxene facepalmed. Outwardly, however, her hands began shaking because what if he saw her? What if they  _both_  saw her? She couldn't imagine what would happen now and the men started walking  _right fucking over_  to the area they were seated at.  _Shitshitshit fuck shit. Dammit! Fuck!_  The petite blonde put her head down on the table, hiding her face. She wasn't ready to face everything that Axel was in her life. It might appear cowardly, but she was just getting her life back in order. Confronting Axel a second time, letting him know what his cheating did to her… It wasn't something she could deal with right now.

Marluxia had been texting one of the nurses at the clinic back on Destiny Islands and had so far missed out on everything — until Larxene let her forehead smack the table. He raised a pink eyebrow and leaned down to talk to her in a hushed voice.

"Larxene, what's wrong? Do you not feel good or something?" he queried.

"No, I'm fine, but my ex… the one who caused me to start using… he just walked in the door with his boyfriend. They got seated in this section of the restaurant, so now they're only a couple of tables away," she explained, a little bit afraid of what would happen.

"Who is he? I told you I'd make the bastard pay for the heartache and bullshit he started for you," Marluxia whispered, determined to keep his word.

"Just look for the tall-ass redhead and a blond guy about my size."

' _Tall-ass redhead?'_  Marluxia mused.  _'Why does that sound like someone I know?'_

He looked up, spying a table to his right with the two people who matched Larxene's descriptions. His blood boiled when he realized that the redhead was indeed who he thought. He lowered his head back down to Larxene's level, his eyes burning with anger.

"Larx. Please tell me for the sake of my sanity and everyone's safety that you did not mean that Axel is your ex-boyfriend."

Her eyes widened when he spoke the name she had never mentioned to him. "How do you know Axel, Marly? I never told you his name…"

"He's my cousin, Larxene. I knew, when you were telling me what he did, that the story involving him was instantly familiar to me, but I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. Now it all makes sense. If you'll excuse me for a minute, I simply must have a chat with him."

Before she could stop him, Marluxia had gotten up from his seat –  _he really must use the bathroom_  – walking over to the table where the two men sat.

~o~

Roxas lifted his eyes from his lap in time to see a pink haired man walking towards his and Axel's table. "Uh, Axel?"

"Yea, Rox?" he replied, fiddling with something on his phone.

"You might want to look up in about ten seconds."

The redhead unglued his eyes from the device in his hands, a cherry red eyebrow arched in question. His date nodded his head in the direction of the quickly approaching stranger.

"Marluxia? What are you doing here?" Axel stood up and greeted him.

The older man responded, "You, me, bathroom for a chat.  _Now._ " He walked swiftly past the two younger men to walk to the restroom, Axel curiously following with apologies to Roxas and a promise of, "I'll be right back. I have no idea what he wants."

The blond was utterly flabbergasted at the quick exchange but remained in his seat. Axel was going to have to explain a few things when he got back.

~o~

The door closed behind the two men with a soft thud in its frame. Marluxia looked quickly to make sure they were alone before locking said door, so as not to be interrupted.

"So, Marly, you gonna explain why you felt the nerve to disturb my—" Marluxia hauled off and punched Axel's face as hard as he could before the redhead could finish his sentence. "Ow, son of a bitch! What the fuck was that for?" A bruise was quickly forming on Axel's cheek.

"That, you idiot, was for what you did to Larxene." His expression was stony as his eyes glared poison at Axel. "And this," he punctuated his statement with another quick punch, "is from me." His redheaded cousin was going to be a myriad of colors at this rate.

"Damn it, Marluxia would you stop punching me! Fuck!" Axel shouted at him. "For the love of God, please explain what the fuck you're talking about."

"You don't know, do you?" Marluxia glared even more.

"Know what? What the hell am I supposed to know right now?"

"Larxene. You cheated on her. You broke her fucking heart, you dickwad. Or did you happen to forget that?"

"No, I didn't forget. If it hadn't been for the fact that she slapped me and refused to let me speak when she found out, I would have apologized then and there. And if it weren't for the fact that she threatened to beat my ass, and you  _know_  she could do it, I would have done it after she cooled down. But what the hell happened after that? How did  _you_  meet her?" Axel asked in an accusatory tone.

"You really don't know." It was more of a statement than a question this time. "She started using drugs, Axel. Ecstasy. So she could feel 'happy' again," Marluxia put air-quotes around the word. "When her parents finally found out, they put her in rehab. At Destiny fucking Islands. She was there for almost a month before I came back to do more lectures and such. I've been working with her since then to help her get back on track with school, and she said that thanks to my help, she was able to graduate. Which is why we came here. Because that's a big fucking accomplishment for someone who's not even  _at_  the damn school to achieve."

As Marluxia explained their knowing each other, Axel slowly became slack-jawed. He'd been fairly close to Larxene's parents and they never told him. He never thought his actions would hurt her  _that_  badly. She'd always been closed off to protect herself… How could he have done what he did? Axel was feeling more and more like the scum of the earth. He'd had no idea.

"Did you know that she had nightmares when she was detoxing, Axel? She told me about them. She told me about how she had to start leaving a light on when she tried to sleep because if she didn't, these creatures – these shadows – would come after her, baring their teeth and ready to eat her heart out. All she could ever see of them were their hideously yellow eyes." Axel looked to the ground in shame and self-loathing. "And you were the one who caused that. I hope to whatever god you believe in that you're aware of how deeply your actions cut. If she ever forgives you, you don't deserve it." With that, Marluxia unlocked the bathroom door and left, his words leaving Axel in a daze and a quickly swelling face.

Axel put a hand up to his cheek, staring blankly at the wall as he contemplated what his cousin said. He wasn't really aware of the bruises marring his face as he left the bathroom and went back to Roxas in a much more depressed mood than he'd previously been in.

~o~

When Marluxia returned from the bathroom –  _he felt much better_  – he put on his poker face. He distracted Celeste and Taranis and Luxord from questioning Larxene by asking his own questions of them. By the time their food came and they had finally eaten, they'd completely forgotten about Axel.

"Larxene," her father started, "have you thought about what you're going to do for college?"

"Uh, I actually…" she trailed off, not really knowing what to say. The truth was that she had never planned to go to college, even before she'd started using.

Marluxia interjected, "I was considering signing her on with my lecturing tours, if that's okay. I feel like Larxene's story could impact a lot of people dealing with those kinds of emotions and that she could genuinely help them. I won't if you're against it, but if you'd allow her to join me, I'd be eternally grateful."

Luxord looked to his parents. "I think you should let her go with him. Who's to say that after Marluxia leaves Destiny Islands that Larxene won't start back up again? No offense, Larxene, but I've seen it happen a lot. Users connect with someone who helps them stop and when that person leaves, they relapse. If she stayed with him, he could make sure she stayed clean  _and_  they could help more people. But that's just my opinion."

Celeste spoke up, "Marluxia, I think that's a wonderful idea. I'm sure that would be the best thing for Larxene, right honey?" she glanced at her daughter.

"I… Yea. I'm glad you're okay with it. Marly, I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me." The blonde wrapped an arm around him as best she could seated beside him and he lifted his arm to rest on her shoulders.

Dinner at Atlantica for the Audras and Marluxia finished on a high note, with Larxene and Marluxia leaving together to drive back to Destiny Islands.

~o~

The last week of May came and went without much excitement. Marluxia introduced his idea to the staff at the clinic for Larxene to join him. They all agreed that it was an excellent idea because she showed promise. She was on the verge of finishing her counseling and rehabilitation at the clinic and could then be released. June brought with it the heat and humidity of summer and melted slowly into July. Many of the patients at the clinic who were far enough along in their therapy were allowed privileges and most would swim in the ocean just outside the clinic. It helped to cool them off immensely in the intense heat.

On the thirteenth day of the month, Larxene received a phone call from her parents, wishing her a happy eighteenth birthday. Sadly, she hadn't seen Marluxia all day. She'd been kept busy in her therapy sessions and stopped by everyone because it was her birthday. He finally met up with her at about three in the afternoon, wanting to know if they could go for a swim. She agreed and joined him in the shallow water of the ocean. They swam out a little ways, occasionally splashing each other, seeing who could hold their breath the longest, and racing each other to different places. Marluxia dove under the water and emerged directly below Larxene so that she was sitting on his shoulders. Surprised, she let out a yelp and promptly fell. After all the shenanigans were done, they lazed about in the water, lying on their backs and floating under the sun. A few seagulls from the other side of the island flew overhead, their calls muffled by the water.

Marluxia reached out and grabbed Larxene's hand, twining their fingers together. His legs sinking back down slowly, he gently pulled the blonde girl to his chest. She was startled from her floating state and her legs sank fast below her. She wrapped her arms around Marluxia's neck out of instinct and found his face rather close to hers. Her face – already red from the sun exposure – flushed and she looked away from his captivating azure gaze. His arms held her close to him in the water. She looked back up and he captured her soft lips in a brief kiss. Her eyes slipped close as she allowed herself to get lost in the lip lock. Marluxia ran his tongue along the seam of her lips and she gasped in surprise. His mouth curved into a smirk against Larxene's as he took his opportunity to deepen the kiss. His tongue delved into her mouth, exploring, tasting, memorizing. Not one to be won over easily, she pushed back to return the favor. Their legs tangled below the water in an attempt to get closer to each other. They stayed embraced for a few minutes until a light breeze hit Larxene's slowly drying skin, causing her to shiver.

Marluxia pulled back just a little bit and chuckled, pecking Larxene's lips again. "We should go inside, Larx. Get dried off, maybe eat something. Hmm?"

Larxene grinned up at him, "Yea, we probably should. Carry me inside?" she asked, batting her eyelashes.

Snorting in amusement, Marluxia shifted so that Larxene was holding onto him from the back so that he could swim to shore again. He set a slow pace to elongate the feeling of the petite blonde relaxed and pressed close to him on his back. She kissed his neck and said quietly, "Marly?"

He hummed in response. "Thank you," she said, "for making today one of the best birthdays I've had." He stopped swimming for a moment so he could properly speak to her.

"You don't have to thank me, Larx. It's why I'm here. Why I'm with you. Because I want to make you happy. And besides, who says today's done?" With that, he set back towards the shoreline, ever so slowly.

When he finally reached the point where he could walk, he hitched Larxene's legs up higher and piggy-backed her to their abandoned seats on the beach. She slid down off his back to grab her towel, wrapping it tightly around her. She wrung out her hair as best she could, watching Marluxia do the same. They packed up their few belongings and went back inside to an immediate blast of the air conditioning. Larxene huddled as close as she could to Marluxia, getting goose-bumps from the constant air flow. Picking up on the hint, he lifted an arm around her shoulders, keeping her next to him as they walked through the halls, headed back to their respective rooms. At a split in the hallway – one leading towards patient rooms; the other towards guest rooms – they had to separate.

"I'll see you again in a little bit. I think I'm gonna take a shower, wash the salt off of me, and then we can get some dinner. Sound good to you?" Marluxia stepped back, putting a very minute amount of space between them.

"Yea sounds great. And actually, I think I'm gonna do the same. See you in an hour?"

"Sure thing Dollface. See you then." He kissed her forehead and turned down his hallway, leaving Larxene to wander down the hall much like a school girl with a crush.

~o~

Returning to her room, Larxene stripped off her bathing suit and put it in her dirty clothes hamper for the cleaning staff later. Quickly brushing the knots out of her hair, she grabbed a clean pair of underwear from the small dresser in the corner, as well as a clean towel. She turned the water on, waiting for it to heat up before finally stepping in, closing the curtain behind her.

Once Marluxia heard the shower curtain close, he quietly stepped in Larxene's room. He wanted to make this day special for Larxene, and he'd hid part of his present for her in his room, since patients weren't allowed to visit the guest rooms. On her bed, he left a large box. In this box there was a pair of black satin pumps and a sundress with an angelfish design as its theme. It was lightweight, a little bit flowy, and completely perfect for the blonde. Marluxia had taped a note on top of the box, explaining its presence before leaving the room as quickly and quietly as he came.

Larxene rinsed the shampoo from her hair and lathered up with her pineapple and orange scented shower gel, feeling the grime and buildup from the sea just wash away. The gel exfoliated the blonde's skin, leaving it soft and smooth. Rinsing the suds off under the stream of water, Larxene ended her shower, grabbing her towel from the hook on the wall and mostly drying off before stepping out of the shower. She wrapped the fluffy towel around her body, tucking one corner into the rest of the material to keep it up while she fixed her hair. She opted for the quick and easy way of styling, grabbing some root lifter and spritzing her hair before scrunching it loosely with some mousse. She gave her hair a once-over with the blow dryer, just to speed up the process and set about putting on a little makeup.

Using just a little bit of primer to cover the slight redness from earlier, she covered her face in a light layer of foundation, blending it to completely erase the minor sunburn. After that, she dusted the apples of her cheeks with a faint blush, put on a bronze colored eye shadow and a thin line of black eye liner. She didn't bother with mascara – who wants to put bat feces on their eyelashes? – or with any gloss, settling for a tinted lip balm. She pulled on the underwear she'd grabbed from her dresser and removed the towel once she left the bathroom. That's when she noticed the box sitting on her bed.

Larxene eyed the box quizzically, wondering how it got there. Then she observed the note taped to the top.

_Larxene, I wanted to get you something special to wear for dinner on your birthday, so I hope this dress looks as great as I think it will._

_Once you're done getting ready, meet me in the garden._

_~Marluxia_

_P.S. There's a pair of shoes to go with the dress; if they're uncomfortable, you don't have to wear them. See you soon._

Curious, Larxene lifted the lid to the box, seeing several layers of tissue paper covering her new dress. Moving it out of the way and lightly grasping the top of the dress, she lifted it out of the cardboard. It was a halter, with the bodice of it following the pattern of an angelfish. From the top right, a thick black stripe – almost the width of the front – ran diagonally to the left side of the bodice, with two pale yellow stripes on either side, where the skirt attached. The skirt itself was a series of slightly sheer panels of fabric cut at different lengths and stitched together to form a flowing train that ended in the back slightly below the knees, the front stopping at mid-thigh. It was white, yellow, and black, with the layers of fabric in the skirt a pale, buttery yellow fading to white at the edges.

Larxene stepped into the dress, pulling it up slowly, so as not to rip any seams. It fit her snugly, as though made especially for her body. She tied the halter straps behind her neck and looked back in the box for her shoes. The shoes were made of a soft, black satin, sporting a five inch heel with a one inch platform on the front. The back of the shoes held thick satin ribbon, meant to be tied around the legs like a ballet slipper. Once she had her outfit on, she glanced in her bathroom mirror to see it all together. The dress defined her subtle curves, cinched at the waist to point out her hourglass figure, and the skirt complemented her long legs, further accentuated by the heels Marluxia had supplied. Something was still missing though, and she pinned a small section of her hair back with a black lace flower hairpin. A pair of small pearl earrings completed the ensemble; giving Larxene an air of maturity and making her look older than her eighteen years. Smiling in appreciation – and feeling the butterflies stir in her stomach – she set off towards Marluxia's garden.

~o~

The twenty-three year old waited in the clinic's garden, checking off everything he'd prepared for tonight. He was fidgeting with his clothes, making sure there were no wrinkles in his slacks or shirt, messing with his hair to make it lay just right, adjusting the tablecloth so that it was the same length on all sides. He was just a tad nervous. His outfit matched Larxene's, with a butter yellow button up shirt and white silk tie, paired with lightweight black slacks and black dress shoes. His bubblegum pink hair had been straightened and flared out to show all the layers and sprayed meticulously into place. He wore simple cologne that smelled faintly like the breeze coming off the ocean waves. It was a light scent, so as not to compete the natural aroma of the flowers surrounding him.

A small bouquet of flowers that were handpicked sat delicately in a vase on the table, adding a splash of color to the bland white tablecloth. Marluxia was becoming anxious. What if Larxene didn't like the dress he'd picked out for her? What if she didn't show up?

He almost started pacing by the time he heard the soft  _click_  of heels on the concrete leading to the elegant setting. When Marluxia looked up, he was breathless. The dress he'd gotten fit Larxene like a glove, hugging her in all the right places. It gave a small peak of her body, leaving the rest to the imagination. The shoes he'd found really flowed well with the dress, the ribbon ties for the legs accentuating how well toned Larxene was. Her hair was artfully scrunched, giving the appearance of beach hair, with a small, black lace flower holding a section back. The eye shadow she wore complemented her bright blue eyes, making them stand out even more.

The blonde smiled at her date, faintly blushing when she noticed him blatantly staring. It was cute how he planned their outfits, so they'd match. Not many guys would do that. She saw Marluxia shake his head, as if to get out of the daze he'd been put in upon her arrival. He walked slowly up to her, stopped, and bowed low. With a giggle, Larxene curtsied, amused by his antics.

"My lady," he greeted her. "How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman on the planet?"

Larxene sputtered, unsure how to answer him. "Such a gentleman, Marluxia. You don't look too bad yourself." The blush on her face was still very present as she replied.

"Why thank you, my dear. I do try." He grinned at Larxene, grateful that he'd done so well. "Do you fancy a dance before dinner, or after?"

"After, I think. If that's alright with you."

"Of course, Larxene. Today is all about you, so whatever you want is yours. Including me," he winked before offering his hand to the blonde to lead her to her seat.

"Hah!" Larxene laughed, smacking Marluxia lightly on the arm when he pulled her chair out for her. "I do believe you've just spoiled that 'perfect gentleman' image I had of you."

He chuckled, "I couldn't help it. You just look so tempting; I simply had to offer myself to you, my seductress." He could see Larxene subtly biting her lip, suddenly hyperaware of her surroundings.

Marluxia noticed how Larxene tensed up, just slightly, after his statement. Stopping disaster before it could start he commented, "Larxene. Relax. We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I… I know, Marly. I do. And it's not that I don't want to, because believe me, I really do… I just… I'm not ready to take that next step. I mean, even when I was with Axel, we never got farther than a heated make-out session… And I want to make you happy, Marluxia, and I don't want to disappoint—"

"Hey, what's all this talk about disappointment? I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything with me, Larxene. I know that you're thankful I've helped you, but you are  _not_  indebted to me because I helped you. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I'm not going to push you. I promise. If you want to go slow, then that's fine. I just wanted you to know that the option is there if you want it to be. Okay?" he spoke reassuringly.

"Okay," she let out a relieved breath.

Marluxia reached across the small table, grabbing Larxene's hand and twining their fingers. Their gazes met and Larxene smiled. "Marluxia?"

"Yes?"

"I know it's probably a little soon to be saying this, but… I'm pretty sure I love you."

The pink haired man's face lit up with surprise; he obviously was not expecting that. He didn't reply immediately, and Larxene was getting a little panicky. "Marly…? I'm not…pushing myself on you, am I? I mean, i-if you think it's too soon, I understand and wecanpretendIdidn'tsayanythingatallifyouwant—" He cut her off with a finger to her lips.

Gazing softly into her eyes, he said, "I love you too, Larx. I just… I think you just caught me way off guard with that. I wasn't sure how you felt about me – about us. But Larxene, do you remember what I said that first day we met? After you told me your story and fell asleep clutching my shirt?"

"That you were drawn to me…?" she hesitantly asked.

"Exactly. I'd never felt this urge to know someone before, and I felt like if I ignored it, I'd drive myself crazy with wonder. I think that pull towards you was me falling for you. I've loved you since that day, and every day afterwards has just been making me love you even more. It's like I was a drowning man and seeing you that first time was like my first breath of air." Marluxia explained to the best of his ability.

"That's kind of how I felt… I mean, I was hesitant in the beginning because I hadn't been broken up from Axel for very long and I know it's stupid to jump right into another relationship so soon, but now, Marly, I swear… It's like you're my new drug. You make me feel like I'm only just now starting to live; like I wasn't really alive before I met you. You know?"

"I do, indeed," he replied, chuckling, "we are such a cliché, aren't we?"

Larxene laughed heartily, "Yea, I think we are. But who the hell cares? I am in love with the most perfect man alive, he loves me back, and there's no other place in the world that I'd rather be."

At that moment, one of the clinic chefs brought out a rolling cart with their dinner on it. There was a large bowl of salad and two small cups of ranch dressing, a basket of breadsticks, and a covered dish with spaghetti and meatballs, courtesy of Tony's. The chef skillfully tossed the salad before putting some in a couple of bowls and setting them on the table with the ranch before serving the spaghetti and breadsticks on their plates. Two simple glasses of water completed the meal and the chef bowed out quietly, leaving the couple in silence.

"Oh wow, this looks so delicious," Larxene said, spreading her napkin across her lap. She watched Marluxia do the same, before picking up her fork to mix the ranch in the salad and taking a bite. Marluxia bit an end off one of his breadsticks and twirled his fork in the pasta, stabbing a meatball on the end. Just as he was about to bring his fork to his mouth, he heard a faint sound coming from the pathway that lead to the clinic. Looking up, he smiled as he saw Selphie carrying a violin, walking with Tidus. He hadn't arranged for anything else for this date, but he was grateful all the same. Larxene was still unaware of the pair coming closer. They stopped about ten feet away, staying out of sight behind one of the paopu trees.

Marluxia continued on as if he didn't know the pair was there, acting natural. Larxene kept eating, occasionally meeting Marluxia's eyes. Then she heard music coming from somewhere near her, the melody sounding slow and sweet. That's when a voice joined in. " _Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte. Look at the skies; they have stars in their eyes… On this lovely bella notte._ " The voice sang out in baritone. " _Side by side with your loved one; you'll find enchantment here. The night will weave its magic spell when the one you love is near,_ " the voice sang louder, reaching a higher note. A soprano voice joined in, harmonizing, " _For this is the night, and the heavens are right, on this lovely bella notte…_ " The violin played the verse again, the duo singing " _ooh_ " along with it.

Larxene was speechless. She smiled, her eyes welling up with tears of utter joy. This was by far the kindest, sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. She abandoned the half-eaten meal in favor of pulling Marluxia up from his seat, wanting to take him up on his offer of a dance. A slight breeze blew, sending the smells of hibiscus, amazon lily, blue dawn, African tulip – and a plethora of other flowers – swirling around the couple lightly swaying in time with the song. Larxene smiled, wrapping her arms tighter around Marluxia's neck. In turn, Marluxia's arms held Larxene closer, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. They danced for several minutes, Marluxia twirling the blonde out and pulling her back so that he stood behind her, arms laced tightly around her waist. She looked up over her shoulder at him, conveying the immense love she had for the man in her eyes.

Marluxia thanked his lucky stars for granting him this night and for bringing Larxene to him. He was undoubtedly the luckiest man alive. When he met Larxene's gaze, he clearly saw just how much she adored him. He silently vowed to never hurt this beautiful young woman and captured her lips in a soft kiss. At that moment, the singing started again, this time with more than two voices. " _Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night, and they call it bella notte. Look at the skies; they have stars in their eyes, on this lovely bella notte…_ " They pulled back from each other, Larxene turning back around to face Marluxia to kiss him fully. One of her hands found itself tangling in the hair on the nape of Marluxia's neck as he cupped her cheek, compelling her to open her mouth for Marluxia, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His tongue explored her cavity slowly, stroking her muscle as he memorized her taste.

Larxene broke the kiss for air, breathing heavily. Marluxia rested his forehead against hers, out of breath as well. He pecked her lips one more time, whispering, "Happy birthday, Larxene."

Marluxia spoke softly, "Come with me. I want to show you something." With that, he linked their arms, and started walking to a place he'd never shown or told anyone else about. As they were coming up on his surprise location, he told Larxene to close her eyes.

"Marly, if I close my eyes, I'll trip wearing these shoes. I may have awesome balance, but I'll face-plant if I can't see."

"Well, if that's the case…" he trailed off, scooping her up bridal style. "Now, can you close your eyes?"

"Yes," she giggled, obeying. Even though she couldn't see, she could tell by the way Marluxia was walking that they were ascending stairs. And a fairly decent amount at that. Once he was done climbing the stairs, he set Larxene down carefully.

As Larxene opened her eyes, she saw a small island rising up out of the ocean, its only connection being a small, wooden bridge. On the island, she saw a crooked growing paopu tree, along with several palm trees. She had a perfect view of the moon sitting low in the sky, appearing as though it was going to sink into the water. She was astonished at the natural beauty of this little piece of Heaven. She'd never seen anything like it, except maybe on a postcard or in a movie. Marluxia threaded their fingers together as he led her slowly across the bridge.

"When I was allowed out of the clinic during my recovery here – when they'd figured out I wasn't going to run away to get more drugs – I decided to wander around this side of the island for some alone time. I discovered this little treasure on my first day of 'exploring,'" he explained. "I've never shown this particular place to anyone else, and as far as I know, no one else knew about it either. Whenever I needed time to think about something, or to just get away from everyone for a little while, this is where I'd go. It's so peaceful; it provided me the perfect escape. So now, every time I visit Destiny Islands, I make it a point to come here at least once before I have to leave again."

"How many times have you been here on this visit?" Larxene asked.

"This is the first time. After I met you, I really didn't have any reason to come out here… At least, not until now. But I'm so glad I got to share it with you."

"And… when do you have to leave?"

Marluxia had been expecting that question after his explanation. "As soon as I can. I've already doubled the time here that I normally spend, because I couldn't stand to leave knowing you were still here. I still have to speak and help out at other clinics. I've had them all take me off their schedules for anything until I could leave."

Larxene's face fell. She knew that she'd be going with him, but probably not this soon. Marluxia quickly caught onto her train of thought.

"Larxene. You do remember that you're going with me, right?"

"I… Yea. But, don't I still have to finish my treatment? I still have about a month here…"

"Not if I have anything to say about it. As far as I'm concerned, your treatment is continuous as long as you're with me. So by going with me, you  _are_  finishing treatment, and you're ensured to stay away from all drugs. Trust me on this. The staff here will tell you pretty much the same thing. I just… I didn't want to mention that until today, because I wanted to give you that surprise birthday date and make it one that you'd remember. I wanted it to be as special as possible, in a place that you were at least familiar with. And besides that, as soon as I started organizing everything, I knew I wanted to bring you to this secret place of mine…"

Larxene hugged him fiercely after that admission, feeling his arms snake around her waist as well. "Oh, and before I forget, there's one last thing I want to share with you," he continued, eyes staring deep into her own. He removed his arms from the blonde's body, turned towards the crooked paopu tree, and hoisted himself up. Once he was situated, he patted the spot next to him. "Come on, Larx. Join me up here."

She untied the ribbons from her ankles and stepped out of her shoes onto the ground. How best to get up there?

"Just do what I did. Use your arms and push. I'll help you," Marluxia smiled. She set her hands on the trunk of the odd tree and gave a quick jump, relying on her arms to pull herself up. She got half-way on the trunk by herself, lying on it on her stomach. She felt Marluxia's hands steady her so she could turn and sit herself up properly. Once she was finally situated, she smiled at the twenty-three year old, a light blush staining her skin. Marluxia chuckled, "You're so cute." He kissed the top of her head and her cheeks flushed darker. Before she could process the statement further, she was shaken from her reverie – literally. The tree was moving lightly, swaying with Marluxia's movements.

"Marly! Be careful!"

He was reaching for the single paopu fruit growing on the tree. With one last reach, he extended his arms and grabbed the fruit, pulling it from the small branch. When he turned back around, Marluxia was met with a quizzical glance from Larxene. He smiled softly at her, adding a wink.

"Have you ever heard the legend of the paopu fruit, Larxene?" he asked her. She shook her head from side to side. "Well, they say that should two people ever share a paopu, then those two will forever have their destinies entwined with each other's. Meaning that whatever happens in life, no matter how far apart those two may end up, they will always find their way back to the other." Larxene's mouth dropped slightly in an 'o' shape. He may as well be proposing to her. "What do you say, Dollface? Will you share it with me?"

She nodded, unable to form words. Marluxia grinned and broke one of the arms of the star-shaped fruit off. He bit one end to hold in his teeth, leaving the rest sticking out for Larxene to bite. She giggled, leaning in and biting through the fruit. Her lips pressed lightly against Marluxia's before they pulled back to chew. To Larxene, the taste of a paopu fruit was entirely unique. It was slightly citrus-y – like a grapefruit – but still sweet – like a pineapple. It was definitely the best fruit she'd ever tasted.

She felt a small trail of the juice dribble down her chin and she let out a small, "eep." Marluxia quirked an eyebrow at her before spotting the droplet. He put his hand to the side of her face and scooted a little closer. Just as the drop of juice was about to fall from Larxene's chin, he flicked the tip of his tongue out and licked it up. Following the trail to her pink lips, he kissed her once more.

And so they stayed that evening, listening to calming lull of the ocean's waves, gazing at the moon and stars, and enjoying the fact that they would now be in each other's lives forever. In that moment Larxene realized that having her heart broken was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. But in the end, she hadn't meant to fall in love; it was just a very lucky bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this is full of clichés and such, but I couldn't help it. xD This oneshot wrote itself. Quick mention for the names!
> 
> Audra is a Lithuanian name meaning 'storm.' Larxene's parents names are just a play on words. Celeste means 'heavenly' and Taranis is Celtic for 'thunder.' So you have Heavenly Storm and Thunder Storm. xD I thought it was pretty clever.
> 
> Vanamo is Finnish, meaning 'twin flower.' I wanted to have a flower name for Marly, without directly using a flower's name. So I found one closer.
> 
> Amaya is a Japanese name that means 'night rain.' Quite fitting for Aqua, with her first name meaning water.
> 
> And lastly, Zillah is Hebrew and means 'shadow.' I wanted something closer to 'copy' or 'doppleganger' but I couldn't find anything fitting. So I figure shadow works out just the same.
> 
> As for Larxene's birthday dress, I received permission from someone on deviantart to use their picture as inspiration for her dress. The link is flurryfox.deviantart.com/gallery/31415568?offset=24#/d42fqpy. Give flurryfox thanks for that, if you would. (:
> 
> I also want to thank my dear friends TheAnnoyingVoice and DXM Junkie (aka my wife xD) for giving me inspiration and feedback when I most needed it. These ladies are quite close to my heart, and I very much appreciate their opinions and honesty. As well as being awesome readers of my stories, they're also deeply good friends that I wouldn't trade for the world. So thank you, my dears, for helping me out when I needed it.


	3. Darlin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This does contain a bit of language, as well as a masturbation scene/dream/fantasy. You have been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck. I kind of forgot I had this account... I'm so sorry if anyone has been kept waiting on this series. Let me say though, life for me has been so busy... My 2013 has been crazy. From January until May, I had classes at the local university. In June, I had to be hospitalized for reasons I'd rather not say, and after being released, I started my hectic summer. I turned 21, got my driver's license, I went on a float trip with coworkers, I saw Fall Out Boy in concert two days after the float trip (with very sunburned legs, mind you), I went to a lake with people from church, I celebrated Independence Day, then went on a mission trip to Moore, OK to help with relief efforts from the tornado that hit them in May, I went to Worlds of Fun with coworkers, went to the drive-in, and had about two weeks to rest from the summer before classes started again, and then I got my nose pierced. Now that classes have been back in session for almost a month, I'm working three jobs, still part time somehow, and going to school full time. I've also got an interview coming up for another job with the possibility of quitting my first job. Fingers crossed, ya'll.
> 
> Anyway, Darlin' has been finished for some time, and part 2 is in the works. I cut it off where I did because if I hadn't cut it off, I'd never have finished it. Please, despite me making you wait - unintentionally - please tell me what you think of it.

Being raised in a strict Christian household had made Roxas and Naminé the ideal children for any parents. They had deep relationships with God, both were straight-A students, and they were always well behaved in the face of company. As children of the pastor of Twilight Town's church, they were seen as perfect. It was their first year of college, and they were both starting their general studies at the university in Hollow Bastion. This would be their first time leaving home without their parents, as they would be living in the dorms to save on traveling costs. The university did not allow coed dorms, even for family, though they did get put in the same building. The first and second floors were girls floors, the boys floors being the third and fourth. Their roommates had been chosen at random through some complicated computer process the school used based on similar interests and compatibility.

Naminé's roommate was a girl named Kairi. She was a little peppy and upbeat, but with a perverted sense of humor. She had dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes and the biggest attitude on this side of Mars. She shocked Naminé with her bluntness, but they quickly grew to be close friends.

Roxas was paired with a redhead as well, Kairi's half-brother Axel. Axel's hair was brighter red than Kairi's, his eyes a shocking green compared to the gentle blue of his half-sister. Axel and Roxas too grew close in the first year of college, the two redheads actually staying with Roxas and Naminé's family over the winter break. They all acted as if they'd known each other all their lives and may as well have been joined at the hip. The blondes' parents were shocked over Axel's face tattoos and were wary of him, quietly labeling him as a heathen. A child of God wasn't supposed to defile his body like that. But Roxas liked him well enough, so they kept their mouths shut.

After the first year of school was over, Kairi suggested that Roxas and Naminé spend the summer with her and Axel at Destiny Islands at their house. When it was decided that they could be trusted, the blondes packed most of their wardrobes and started off on the road trip the next day. The summer spent away from home would prove to be Roxas' best and most stressful of his life. Away from his parents, he became more open-minded. Naminé noticed the slight change in his behavior – he cursed, though not often; he had taken to smoking (a habit he picked up from Axel), only when his sister wasn't around – and tried to watch him a little closer. During a lazy night spent at the beach, Axel sprung a debatable topic on them.

"What are your thoughts on homosexuality?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere. Kairi wasn't shocked; she'd heard that same question when Axel came out to her and her best friends Sora and Riku. The people on Destiny Islands were liberal enough that they didn't really care about the issue. If it made someone happy, then what right did they have to try to take that happiness away? Sora and Riku had of course accepted him, and Kairi had taken to discussing cute boys with him as a way of bonding. However, the only reason he had come out in the first place is because he was interested in someone, so Kairi could only assume that was the case this time as well.

The twins were caught off guard by the suddenness of the question and were silent while they thought about how to answer.

Roxas spoke first, "To be honest, I haven't ever really thought about it. Then again, living in Twilight Town, you're a little sheltered over there. But… I can't say I oppose it. I mean, I know the bible says homosexuality is a sin, but I also know that everyone is made in God's image, no matter the sexual orientation, so if He didn't want someone to be gay, He wouldn't have made them that way."

"I… I agree with you, Roxas. Being an artist, I've learned that art is a very clear way of expressing oneself, and many other artists tend to be open to almost anything. So, really, my viewpoint is that love is love, no matter who it's between," Naminé replied.

Axel let out a relieved sigh as Roxas said, "That was really random though. Why'd you wanna know?"

"Well… I… I wanted to know if you would still accept me. Because I'm gay…" Axel stated in a very nervous voice. He swore the others could hear his heartbeat. There's no way they couldn't with as loud as it was hammering in his chest.

"Well, yea. Being gay doesn't change the person I've come to know," Roxas smiled at his roommate. "And besides, you've helped me to open my eyes a little bit and realize that the way my parents think on certain things, thereby influencing my opinions, that if I were to judge you based on that one thing like they would, I'd be a bigoted asshole."

"He's seen the light!" Naminé chuckled. "It's about time, Rox. I realized that when I met the other people in my art classes during high school."

"Yes well," Roxas replied in a sarcastic tone, "not all of us were gifted with the abilities necessary to join such open-minded classes, Nams." Before his sister could reply, Roxas turned back to his roomie. "Seriously though, Axel, you're the first person I could ever truly call my best friend, besides Nami here. I won't stop being your friend just because you like guys. Alright?"

Axel blushed lightly at the serene expression on the blonde's face and hugged him tightly. He whispered in his ear, "Thank you, Roxas. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that." Roxas returned the hug and whispered back, "I don't want you to feel like you have to hide who you are because of my parents. Got that?" Roxas felt Axel nod his head. "Good," he spoke a little louder, "now let go of me, ya goof." Roxas punctuated the statement by playfully shoving Axel off of him, making the redhead fall back into the sand.

The group laughed heartily as Axel's arms windmilled, trying – and failing – to keep his balance. "Roxy! You're so mean to me! Now I have sand in my hair," Axel pretended to whine.

Rolling his eyes at the overdramatic boy, Roxas said, "Yea, yea, save it for someone who cares, diva."

The rest of their evening was spent in a similar manner, laughing loudly with each other and enjoying the company. Axel volunteered to bring some tents down to the beach for them, because it was a comfortable night (and it gave him an excuse to sleep next to Roxas) and Kairi went with him, leaving the blondes on the shore. When she caught up to her brother's long strides, she smirked at him.

"I'm gonna take a guess and say you like someone, right?" she asked him in a light voice. His posture stiffened slightly and he looked away from her. When the blush rose to his cheeks, Kairi knew it was true. Her smirk turned into a genuine smile as she initiated eye contact when he looked back at her. "It's Roxas, isn't it." It wasn't a question this time.

"…Yea… It is," the older one replied after a moment of silence. "I just… I don't know what to do… I mean, he's obviously not against who I am, but there's no way in hell he'd ever reciprocate my feelings, Kai. I'm so scared I'm gonna get hurt by liking him, but it hurts to just remain friends, too… I'm so confused about what to do."

Kairi thought for a moment before responding, "I think you should try to convince him to give you a chance."

"What? Are you crazy? That would ruin our friendship for sure!" Axel was incredulous.

"No, I'm telling you what I think. You're a great guy, Axel. And he'd be blind not to see it. But whatever your decision is, I'll stand by it and be here for you. We might only be half related, but you're still my brother and I love you," Kairi hugged Axel to reinforce her statement that she would support him. He returned the gesture with a smile forcing the worried expression off his face. He spoke up, "We should probably get the tents now. I bet they're wondering what's taking us so long." The shorter redhead laughed in agreement and they took off inside the house.

~ **Meanwhile at the beach** ~

As the two red haired teens headed inside, Roxas took a moment to think. He was still trying to process what Axel told him. He meant it when he said he still accepted Axel even if he was gay, but he wondered how he'd never realized it before. Then again, Axel had never mentioned any interest he had in anyone and they never brought the subject up. Idly he wondered what his parents would think if they found out. ' _He'd probably be forbidden from ever being my friend again._ ' Roxas' heart squeezed a little in his chest at that thought and he wore a befuddled expression as to why that could be.

It took Naminé a minute to snap Roxas out of his reverie. "Roxas!" She'd shouted into his ear.

"Geez! What?" He jumped as his twin startled him.

"I was  _trying_  to ask you what you were thinking about. You had a weird look on your face."

"Oh," Roxas wrapped his arms around his knees and laid his head down on them. "I was just wondering what would happen if mom and dad found out, is all." His voice sounded far away to Naminé. She immediately understood why though. Their parents weren't exactly the most open-minded people around. They were very conservative and viewed gay people in general as atrocities. They constantly preached to their children to forgive people and themselves of their sins, but when it came to homosexuality, they bashed it and everyone who supported it, calling anyone who stood up against them a faggot or something equally as terrible. Needless to say, they were hypocritical about the whole situation.

"Don't worry about it Rox. They won't find out. Not unless someone tells them, and neither of us are going to do that. I doubt Axel would do that either, after he met them. And Kairi loves him too much to hurt him like that, so like I said, don't worry," the artist replied, comforting her twin. She scooted closer to him, reaching an arm around his shoulders and inviting him to lay his head on hers. She ran nimble fingers through his tousled hair from habit and his arm curled around her back in response.

This is how the other siblings found them upon returning from the beach house, tents in tow. Axel mentally wished he was in Naminé's spot, able to hold the blonde boy as more than a friend. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, his sister's advice not doing a thing to help him. Roxas was straight. There's no way he  _couldn't_  be. This meant that what Axel had told Kairi was true, and he'd never reciprocate Axel's feelings. They'd only ever be friends if Axel could control himself not to ruin their friendship by making a move on him. He was quickly depressing himself with that train of thought and forced himself to put on a smile, interrupting the moment with, "Well, don't you two look cute!"

Both blondes startled, having been lost in their own world. "Holy crap, Axel! You scared us," Naminé chuckled while she tried to calm her heart down. She withdrew her fingers from Roxas' hair and scooted back to her previous seat on the sand. "Sleeping arrangements?" Roxas questioned.

Kairi rolled her eyes and answered, "Me and Nam in one tent, you boys in the other. Duh." Her tone of voice said 'isn't it obvious?' Roxas got a little nervous. He'd be sleeping in the same tent as his best friend, which wasn't the problem. The problem was, now that he knew Axel was gay, he was paranoid. He was afraid the older redhead would try something. He knew it was irrational to think that way, especially after telling Axel that they'd still be friends. He just couldn't help it… After being raised to think a certain way about "those fags" as his father so lovingly called them, he was still unsure on how to act. He bit the inside of his lip, wondering if he should say something. When he turned his thoughts away and focused on where he was again, he was looking directly into Axel's deep green eyes.

"Earth to Roxas," the redhead said, poking his forehead. Roxas smacked his hand away with a huff, "Knock it off!"

"Alright, alright, calm down, dude. You were spacing out. Chill," Axel said defensively, raising his hands up in surrender. "I was just wondering what was up."

The blonde leveled his gaze at the sand, feeling bad for snapping at his best friend. His pulse quickened as he asked, "Can we go talk?" He swore his nerves had forced his heart into his throat, making it hard to talk properly. Axel raised a brow at him, calmly answering, "Sure. Come on." He helped Roxas up off the ground, and the blonde took a moment to brush his shorts off, knocking the grains of sand from the fabric.

"We'll be right back, you two. Kai, do you think you and Nam can handle setting your tent up?" Both girls nodded, shooing the two boys away.

A little ways away from the girls, Axel led the blonde into a small clearing made by the trees that separated the beach from other parts of the island. He sat on a large boulder as Roxas kept his eyes glued to the ground. He stayed silent, thinking of what he wanted to say. Axel cleared his throat in an attempt to get him talking and break the tension between them. He could tell something was off, but he didn't know what. "Roxas…?" He prompted.

He tried several times to say something, opening his mouth, but closing it again when nothing came out. Roxas hated feeling like this with someone he called his best friend. He kept his eyes closed speaking in a low voice, "I… I don't…" He couldn't seem to force the words out. Axel was growing worried. He didn't what?

"I don't feel comfortable sharing a tent with you…" Roxas admitted. His words stabbed the redhead deep.

"Wha– I… But…" Axel sputtered, trying to comprehend what Roxas had just told him. "What do you mean, Rox?" He was fighting to keep his voice even.

The guilt was eating the blonde alive. He hated it. He wanted nothing more than to ignore what he was feeling and just hug the redhead, tell him he was kidding, and go back to normal. But his mind wouldn't let him. His mind wanted him to analyze every detail of his memories with Axel over the past year to try to see if he'd ever been in Axel's sights.

"I mean… I mean, now that I know… I don't feel like I could sleep that close to you and be okay with it…" he grit the statement out through his teeth.

Axel was shocked. This conversation wasn't going where he thought it would. He was hurt and angry. He narrowed his eyes at his supposed best friend in an acidic glare, "Fine. I'll sleep outside then." He walked away from the blonde in a rage, betrayal coursing through his veins. He'd been foolish to think that Roxas would readily accept him that soon and so easily. And now look where he was: the only person to refer to him as his best friend was probably disgusted with him, probably hated him. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest and he tried hard not to openly sob in frustration. He brushed past the girls without a word to either and they stared confusedly at each other as he hurried away. They both looked in the direction he'd come from to see Roxas watching the redhead walk away from him. He looked as though he wanted to call out to Axel, but he couldn't. Like his voice didn't work.

Each of them went after their brothers, Kairi sprinting to catch up to Axel before he disappeared between the trees. She barely caught up to him before he stepped into the thicket of trees, calling after him, "Axel! Wait!" She panted hard, out of breath. She grabbed onto his shirt from behind, intent on making him stop. She pulled her arm to gain some momentum and stepped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. "What…" She tried to question him, still panting. "W-what happened?"

"Go away, Kairi. Just leave me alone." Axel attempted to step around his sister. She put a hand to his chest and told him, "Not u-until… You tell me… What happened." Her breath was taking its sweet time coming back to her. She glared at him in an attempt to make him talk. He glared right back at her, "I said go away. I'm not talking." His voice was slowly rising. He pushed Kairi's arm off his chest and moved around her. She caught his wrist and stepped under his arm, stopping in front of him once more.

"Talk to me Axel! Let me he—" Kairi was cut off by Axel's yell and consequent shove.

"I SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCK  _ALONE_  KAIRI!" In his hurry to get Kairi out of his way, he shoved her sideways. Her feet got caught up in the underbrush, one ankle twisting painfully as she took the brunt of the fall on her forearms. Axel realized what he'd done a second after and bent down to help her.

"Shit, Kai, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" He tried to sit her upright and she slapped his face.

"Let go of me, Axel. Sorry for wanting to help." She got up on her own and limped out of the thicket with tears shining in her eyes.

Naminé didn't make much progress with Roxas either. When she reached him, he'd dropped to his knees on the ground, obviously upset about something. She bent down beside him, pulling his face up to look at her. He couldn't keep eye contact with her. She spoke quietly, "Roxas… Are you okay?" That was all it took for the flood gates to open and hot, fat tears rolled down his face. He sobbed at his stupidity. He'd probably just ruined the best friendship he'd ever had. But he was so confused! When he thought about possibly being the one Axel was interested in, he wanted it, and that scared him. He just  _wasn't_  gay. He didn't like guys. He liked girls. And… apparently he liked Axel too. What would he even say? He knew Naminé would love him no matter what, but what about their parents? What would happen to him if he said anything? That's what scared him the most.

When the tears broke free, his sister hugged him close, holding his head against her chest and using her free hand to rub his back soothingly. "Shh, Roxas, it's okay. It'll be fine. I don't know what happened, but you can fix it. Just tell me how I can help. Please?" She felt him shake his head in negation. He didn't want to tell her anything. That was a blow to her… Roxas told her everything, and vice versa. They were twins, it was what they did. The front of her white dress was getting soaked with her brother's tears and she sighed heavily. Tonight was going to be a long night apparently. She kissed the top of Roxas' head gently, trying to comfort him. That's when she heard Kairi muttering under her breath behind them, with a sudden wince as she tried to sit down. Now Naminé was worried.

"Kairi?"

"Nam…" The redhead's posture sank as she let a cry out. "He… He…" She couldn't get her mouth to form the words. The blonde artist got up on her feet, pulling Roxas up with her. She grabbed his hand, still offering him comfort as she walked them over to where Kairi sat, visibly upset as well. Naminé sat Roxas down near Kairi, leaving space between the two for herself as she let them both seek some form of relief from her. Naminé's legs stretched out in front of her, leaving her lap open for Kairi's head to lie while she tried to understand what happened between her and Axel. Roxas assumed his position from earlier, sitting with his head on his sister's shoulder. Naminé resigned herself to running her fingers through their hair to console them until one or both were ready to talk.

Axel sat still in the thicket of trees, the underbrush seeming to swallow him up as he'd watched his sister limp back to where they'd all been gathered not even ten minutes beforehand. He could already see swelling in her ankle where he'd caused her to twist it. God, what kind of brother was he? He hurt his little sister for trying to figure out what was wrong… At least Naminé had kept a level head and was able to help his sister and Roxas… He got up slowly from where he was sitting and turned to continue where he'd been headed.

He cleared through the thicket and emerged on the other side, looking down a rather steep slope where the island rose up from the water and cut off suddenly. Axel sat and dangled his legs over the side. All his emotions attacked him at once; anger and pain and utter confusion from Roxas, guilt over hurting Kairi, and remorse for leaving Naminé to clean up the mess. He slammed a fist into the ground, the rock underneath the grit of sand bringing a painful throbbing ache to his hand. He hit the ground again and again and again and  _again_. Why did he say anything! If he hadn't mentioned his orientation none of this would have happened in the first place. They'd all be sitting around a small fire roasting marshmallows for s'mores and still enjoying the night. But then he'd gone and ruined it… Why did he have to be so stupid? Maybe this was God's way of punishing him for being gay. Taking away the boy he liked and forcing a wedge between him and his sister.

But Roxas had said that if God didn't want someone to be gay then… they wouldn't be made that way. Right? Of course, Roxas had also said he felt uncomfortable sharing a tent with the redhead. Like he was going to molest him in his sleep. He respected the blonde too much to even attempt  _thinking_  about something like that. But that didn't stop Roxas from assuming it. His hand was numb now, from repeatedly hitting the ground. He'd cut it on a sharp point where a rock jutted out and it was obviously bruised around the cut, sand sticking to the wound. He'd have to wash it out to keep it from getting infected. He didn't care at the moment though. He sighed, letting his head hang down with all the weight of his emotions. He'd fucked up.

He didn't know how long he'd sat there, but when he finally paid attention again, the moon was high in the sky and there was a slight chill in the air. He thought he saw lightning in the distance, but he couldn't be sure. Eventually he got up from his makeshift seat, his bottom half asleep. He could hardly see through the small thicket he'd crossed through earlier and he tripped, catching himself on one of the smaller trees. The bark scraped his face a little and he winced at the sting and stood back up straight again, trying to get back to the others. When he finally found the space that was large enough for him to fit through, he saw Naminé trying to finish setting up the tent she was supposed to share with Kairi. His sister and Roxas were closer to the water, asleep next to each other in the sand.

He felt bad for the blonde girl who'd done nothing to him and was trying to fix the mess he'd made of things. She was obviously frustrated at the tent, because it just would  _not_ stay up at all, no matter what she did. She huffed in annoyance at the lump of fabric and supports. It collapsed on itself in response and she let out a groan. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to the sky, trying to calm down when a drop of rain plinked itself on the bridge of her nose. Two or three more followed before the clouds opened up and released the downpour. Axel ran over to her, speaking loudly over the rain, "Grab Kai! I'll take Roxas! Let's get inside!" She nodded and woke the other girl up to pick her up piggyback style. She walked as fast as she could to the beach house with Kairi's added weight. Axel scooped his arms under Roxas and carried him bridal style as he rushed after Naminé to get inside quickly.

As the door slammed behind the group, a clap of thunder sounded nearby, startling them all. Roxas had woken up during the hustle Axel made to keep as dry as possible. The older redhead felt the blonde in his arms jump at the noise and blushed as his eyes locked with cerulean ones. He set Roxas down and the air settled over them in an awkward tension. Naminé had taken the initiative to help Kairi upstairs to her room to change out of her now soaked clothes and into some dry ones, leaving the boys to deal with whatever had happened between them earlier that evening. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, leaving a very pregnant silence to hover.

"I'm sorry…" The words were whispered so quietly, Axel wasn't sure he heard them or if he imagined them. He knew the words had been spoken, however, when the blonde's shoulders started to shake. He was trying to stay quiet as the tears slipped from his eyes and down his face, dripping from the point of his chin to the floor. He didn't say anything else as he continued to mentally berate himself over what he'd said to Axel previously.

"…I wish I could say it's okay, Roxas… Except that it's not. You… You really hurt me when you said didn't feel comfortable sharing a tent with me. It wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't told me that you accepted me beforehand, but you did… And now, I don't know what to think. What makes you so uncomfortable now? You said that me being gay didn't change the person you knew, so what happened to change your mind?" Axel sounded scared to know the answer.

Truthfully, Roxas didn't know how to phrase his thoughts. He brought one hand up to grip his other arm as he tried to form the words. "I… I don't know… I'm just," Roxas forced his breath out, "I'm confused and afraid and… and…" his sniffling cut him off.

Now Axel was confused as well. "What do you mean by 'confused and afraid' Rox? Afraid of me? What?"

The blonde wiped at his eyes and shook his head while he tried to speak without his voice breaking again. "No, I mean… I'm confused by myself and I'm afraid of my thoughts… And… I need some time to sort things out for myself!" With that, he hurriedly retreated upstairs, taking his bag from the redhead's room and moving into a guest room. Axel continued standing there, his head swimming from the whole situation. A few minutes later, the shower turned on and Axel remembered that he was still wearing very wet clothes and he shivered. Almost mechanically, Axel shut the lights off downstairs and slowly plodded to the second floor towards his room. At the top of the stairs, he went left down the hallway, stepping into his room and shutting the door.

He shoved the few items off of his bed and onto the floor, stripping off his now icy clothing, running a brush quickly through his hair, and flopping down face first onto the mattress. The redhead curled in on himself, lying in the fetal position with his head turned slightly on his pillow. He heaved a sigh and sneezed almost immediately after. He should probably get up and try to warm up in the shower… ' _But I don't feel like it…_ ' A headache was forming behind his eyes and he sniffled a little, falling asleep soon after.

By the time Axel woke up the next day, he didn't feel much better. His nose had stuffed up while he was asleep and he had been breathing through his mouth for the rest of the night. As a result, his entire mouth and throat felt like sandpaper as he tried to swallow some saliva without much success. He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it when they were met with pure sunlight streaming in through the large bay windows. The light seared his corneas and his headache – a dull throb beforehand – was now pounding his brain. He'd slept curled up all night and tried to sit up and stretch. His limbs were stiff and the joints cracked loudly in the silence of his room, protesting the movement. As he continued to sit up fully, he was aware of a slight draft from the air conditioning and glanced down as the sheets barely covered his completely exposed groin. He vaguely remembered stripping the wet clothes off after they turned cold but apparently he'd been too exhausted to dress for bed.

Axel hunched his back forward slightly, hearing it  _crack_  in multiple places. His legs folded in on themselves and he sat in his bed almost Indian style, the sheet pooled in his lap, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes in an effort to make the pain go away. "Ugh," he groaned in a hoarse croak. He was unaware of the eyes watching him curiously from the small opening in his doorway. Bright blue eyes looked on, widening in surprise at the redhead's apparent nudity as he got up out of bed, picking up his clothes from the floor and depositing them in his dirty clothes hamper. Try as they might, the eyes couldn't turn away, locked in place by something akin to attraction. Only after Axel disappeared into his adjoining bathroom – no doubt to clean himself up a little – was Roxas able to move away from the door. He listened as the girls talked in the kitchen downstairs, making sure they were oblivious to his peeping.

He'd had the intention of going to talk with the redhead and clear the air between them, but when he went to see if his best friend was awake, he caught sight of Axel's bare chest, dusky pink nipples hardening in response to the air and— ' _NO! BAD ROXAS! BAD THOUGHTS! He's your best friend and you_ can't _think of him like that!_ ' Roxas shook his head, as if to remove the images his mind was conjuring and quickly returned to his room, shutting the door behind him and immediately letting his forehead crash into the offending piece of wood. No matter how many times he banged his head into the door, his mind wouldn't stop showing him what he'd taken in of Axel and he realized he had a quickly developing problem in his pants. He had three options here: cold shower, will the erection away, or take matters into his own hands – literally. Whatever he decided, however, he  _had_  to get out of his too-tight pants. The blonde hissed as his length was exposed to the cooler air after freeing himself of his pajamas and boxers. His body made the choice for him, and he muttered a quick, 'God, please forgive me,' under his breath as he plopped down on the queen sized bed, scooting back towards the pillows so he could lie back.

He closed his eyes and the mental images came flooding back at once. His mind replayed the situation completely different from reality. He stood outside of Axel's door again, but this time Axel is aware of him and stalks towards the doorway, pulling it open just enough to allow Roxas inside the room. The door closes and locks behind him and he finds himself being hauled up and supported by the wall on his back, Axel's large, warm hands gripping his thighs. His legs wrapped tightly around the redhead's skinny waist and he was suddenly aware that he was fully naked as well. Axel smirks at him, lowering his mouth onto one of the blonde's pert nipples, rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. Roxas lets out a breathy moan at the sensation, as it's something new and exciting. A hand starts pumping him and before he can make sense of the situation, he's lying on his back on Axel's bed, with the redhead straddling him. Axel pins Roxas' wrists above his head with one arm, stroking his weeping erection with the other. He's teasing Roxas, squeezing tightly, but at an  _agonizingly_  slow pace. The blonde shivers, anxious for more of that delicious friction. Axel increases his speed, pumping more fervently and putting pressure on the head. Roxas finds he can't utter a sound and a silent grunt escapes his mouth as the slit of his penis is given the attention of a thumbnail pressing on it. Precome is spread around the tip, offering Axel slight lubrication for the hand fisting the blonde's length. The hand works magic on Roxas and before long the blonde's hips are bucking into the touch as he silently begs for release. With Axel's speed kicked up the final notch he coaxes the orgasm out of Roxas. Streams of white shoot into the redhead's hand with a loud cry of, "Aaaaah, Axel!"

Roxas rides out the waves of pleasure wracking his body post-orgasm and he basks in the natural high for a few minutes, catching his breath. His imagination seemed to be better than he thought… When he was finally able to see through the haze of white, Roxas remembered he was back in his room for his little 'endeavor.' His skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat and his face was tinted pink with a blush. There were a few strands of semen across his stomach and he got up on jello-like legs to wipe himself off with a tissue and put his pants back on. After he'd had a few minutes to calm down, what he'd just done hit him. He'd  _touched_  himself,  _masturbated_  to his best friend pleasuring him. And Roxas was scared of this revelation, because he'd  _liked_  it. Despite the opinion he'd given Axel the night before, he was set into internal panic, worrying he'd be going to Hell for his dirty, sinful thoughts. There was nothing else for his soul. He was tainted now, no longer pure or innocent, and it was all Axel's fault. He'd masturbated before like any teen would, but Axel was the first guy he'd ever thought of in that light.

' _Why does he have to be so damn attractive?_ ' Roxas thought glumly. ' _I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts! But… I… I did tell Axel my opinion… Am I really gay? I mean, I'm curious at least… So, what does that mean for me? Should I… Should I maybe try to experiment… with Axel?_ ' He groaned in frustration at his thought process. ' _Oh, but that brings on a whole new problem! What if he doesn't even like me that way? What if I'm just his best friend and nothing more? Would he still be open to trying things with me? Maybe if I tell him that I'm curious, he'd help me out… Ugh! This whole thing is so embarrassing!_ ' His cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink and he buried his face in the pillows.

~ **Back Downstairs** ~

Kairi sat in her chair as she watched Naminé wrap an ace bandage around her ankle to help keep it straight when she walked. She sat back and smiled, "All done!" Kairi sighed heavily, still upset with Axel and wanting to know why he'd pushed her away. Her roommate pulled a chair up beside her at the kitchen table and offered a comforting hug to the redhead. Kairi laid her head on the blonde girl's shoulder, feeling a soothing pattern being rubbed into her back. Naminé asked in a quiet voice, "Wanna talk about it?" Kairi returned the hug tightly and pulled back, trying to figure out how she was going to say what needed to be said.

"Okay… I have to explain something first… When Axel came out to me, he also came out to two of our friends, because he wanted our approval on this guy he liked at the time. We didn't realize who it was at first, but it was actually one of our mutual friends who'd known us for a while. Of course we all approved, but they drifted apart after a while. Anyway, he said that was the only reason he came out in the first place, to know whether or not we would approve of his dating situation…" Kairi trailed off.

"So… does that mean he likes someone else now? Someone that knows me and Roxas?" Naminé asked, curious.

"I… I don't know that I should say anything, because it's really not my place."

"…He likes Roxas, doesn't he?"

Kairi's deep blue eyes widened in surprise, "How did you know?" She was a little shocked.

"I've seen the way he looks at Roxas, time and again when he thinks no one is watching. He's absolutely crazy about my brother. And… I don't know, I have this feeling about them. Like they're supposed to be together for the rest of their lives. I just… I hope Roxas is willing to try things with him. I mean, like I said last night, love transcends gender. So it doesn't matter to me that Rox would be getting with a guy, because gender's not important. The only concern I have is my parents… I don't know how they'll take it should anything happen between them."

The conversation ended there, as they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The older redhead walked into the kitchen, wearing low-slung sweat pants and no shirt, toweling his hair dry. He looked to the girls, "Borneeg." He sniffled – or rather, he attempted to sniffle, without much success.

"Axel, you sound like hell. Did you get sick?" Kairi became concerned for him.

"Yea… I di'int take by clothes off ride away, and I di'int warb up before bed either…" He was rifling through the medicine cabinet for a decongestant to help with his stuffed up nose so he could breathe properly once more.

"You idiot. What am I gonna do with you?" She stood and moved behind her brother. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, wanting to get him talking about what had happened.

The moment she held him, he stopped his movements, still as a statue. His guilt intensified at this affection, remembering he'd hurt his sister in the heat of the moment. He tried to keep his inner turmoil under control, a few tears slipping out and down his face, dripping onto Kairi's arms. "I'b so sorry, Kai. I'b so sorry…" He turned around in the girl's arms, facing her, and dropped to his knees, hugging his face to Kairi's midsection as though he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. The towel on his shoulders dropped to the floor. He shook slightly as he tried not to sob, and Kairi pet his hair back, wanting to run her fingers through it – except it was ratted up from lack of proper brushing.

"Hey Nam?" she got the blonde's attention.

"Yea?" she replied.

"Can you grab my brush from upstairs? I need to talk to Axel and brushing his hair usually calms him down," the red haired girl explained. "I'm gonna take him into the living room so we can be comfortable, okay?"

Naminé nodded and went to her roommate's bedroom upstairs, grabbing the girl's brush. She heard Roxas growl into something – most likely a pillow – in the next room over. She would use the time to talk to her own brother while Kairi was busy with Axel. She descended to the main floor of the house again, seeing Kairi sitting on the back of the couch with Axel on the cushion in front of her. Kairi's hands appeared to be buried in the mane that was Axel's hair, lightly scratching her nails on his scalp. He appeared to be relaxing under her touch and she smiled at the scene. She entered the room quietly, tapping Kairi's shoulder with the handle of the brush. She gave a quiet thanks to her friend and took the proffered item, replacing her fingers with it. She gently brushed the knots out of her brother's hair, and Naminé watched the tension leave his figure. She went quickly back upstairs, intent on getting the story out of Roxas.

She knocked on the door of the guest room he was staying in, not wanting to interrupt if he was doing something she didn't want to see. The first time that had happened when they were younger was something Naminé did NOT want to repeat. When she didn't hear anything, she opened the door a little, peeking her head in. "Roxas?" She saw him hunched with a pillow in his lap and his arms wrapped around his knees. He didn't respond to her; either he was ignoring her or he just didn't hear her. She stepped in the room, shutting the door behind her. He didn't stir until she sat on the edge of the bed, shifting the weight of the mattress.

Roxas glanced up at his twin through his bangs, plopping his head back down when he realized he'd have to talk about the previous evening. He really didn't want to… He  _hated_ talking about feelings. But especially with Naminé because her ability to read people was uncanny and he was no exception. She nudged his shoulder and he didn't move. "Roxas." He still refused to budge. "Roxas," she said more forcefully. Still nothing. "Roxas!" Naminé shouted at him. He finally flinched at her – it wasn't often she had to raise her voice like that and he knew when she did, she meant business.

"…What." It wasn't an acknowledgement of what he knew was coming. Naminé had a feeling he was just going through the motions to get rid of her.

"Talk to me, Rox. What's going on?" Her voice was softer this time, more serene. She was worried.

"It's nothing, Nam."

"It's not 'nothing' and we both know it. Now please, tell me the truth. What happened last night?"

Roxas sighed, really not wanting to have this conversation. "…I… I told him… That I wasn't comfortable sharing his tent…" He didn't know how to continue.

Naminé was incredulous. "Roxas! Do you realize how terrible that is! I mean talk about mixed signals! You said you were okay with him and then you go and pull that? What's wrong with you?" She was losing steam already, but she was clearly frustrated at him. "What happened that made you change your mind?"

"…He cut me off before I could explain…"

"Explain what? Rox, I can't help you if you don't let me. Unless you're just trying to be a bad friend to Axel. If that's the case I'll leave." She made to get up and leave like she said, but a hand on her wrist kept her from doing so. "Are you gonna talk to me now?"

He remained silent, but his grip was unrelenting. "What is so horrible that you can't even tell your own twin, Roxas? Huh? What is it that's—"

"IthinkImightbegay!" His words rushed out before his brain-to-mouth filter could stop him. He felt his sister stop trying to pull away from him, her body going slack.

"…So… You didn't feel comfortable sleeping in a tent with Axel because you think you could be gay…?" She was trying to understand his logic and it wasn't working for her.

Roxas nodded. "So you're… confused?" He nodded again.

"Okay… So what… What's got you confused? What are you worried about?" The artist was glad to be making progress with her very dense twin.

"I… God this is gonna sound so stupid… I felt… like everyone could, I don't know… Know what I was thinking… Especially Axel. I was afraid that… That I would end up trying to do something that would ruin our friendship. I wanted to… To have some space so I could think."

"Oh Roxas…" Naminé scooted up next to him, allowing him to lay his head on shoulder as he had the night before. "What was there for you to think about?"

When he replied, he sounded genuinely scared, "I don't wanna go to Hell, Nam." His voice trembled slightly and his eyes watered. Now she felt bad for going off on him.

"But you said yourself yesterday, that if God didn't want people to be gay, then He wouldn't have created them like that, right?"

"Yea… But—"

"'But' nothing. If God made someone gay, do you think He would then deny that person access to Heaven when they die? That doesn't sound like the God we were taught to believe in, Roxas. The God of our faith is forgiving and kind. He loves all His children. And that means gay people too."

Roxas felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Now he just had to fix things between him and Axel. At the thought of the redhead, he blushed.

After a few minutes of being comforted by Naminé, he asked, "Hey Nami? Could you do me a huge favor and… um…" he trailed off.

"…Go get Axel for you? Of course." She loved the whole 'twin telepathy' thing they had.

"Thank you. For everything… I love you Naminé. And I really don't tell you that enough."

"Hey, no need to thank me for this. I'm your twin, so of course I'm gonna be here for you all the time. And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Roxy. I love you too." With that, she stepped out the door, headed back downstairs to the redheaded siblings. She really hoped that Kairi had figured out a way to keep Axel calm so she could defend Roxas before she sent the other boy upstairs.

When the blonde reached the living room, she stopped short and grinned. Kairi was acting as a nurse to treat the cut on Axel's hand. She heard him whine, " _Owwwww!_ " and giggled. ' _He can't take a little peroxide on a cut but he can take a needle to the face twice? Wow._ ' She knocked when Kairi had wrapped her brother's hand with a bandage, "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Kairi smiled at her, replying, "Of course not, Nam! Come in and join us." The blonde walked to the couch and plopped down between the two redheads. "So, I guess you two have made up?" Naminé cocked an eyebrow at Axel.

"Sure we have! And as repayment to Kairi, I'm now piggybacking her wherever she needs to go. Except the bathroom. I'll leave that to you, Naminé." His decongestant seemed to have worked.

" _Thanks_  Axel," she responded with heavy sarcasm. "Anyway, I came back down here because Roxas wants to talk to you. But first, I want to clear something up. Okay?" Axel appeared confused but nodded.

"Roxas told me that when you guys went to go talk, he told you he was uncomfortable sleeping in the same tent, correct?"

"Yea," Axel replied warily.

"He then said that you cut him off before he could fully explain. I'm assuming that's when you stormed away from him."

The taller redhead appeared to be closing himself in at this statement. He was still upset by the hurtful words, but he knew he'd probably overreacted. He nodded sheepishly.

"Okay Axel, that's all I wanted to clear up. What you need to do now is go up and talk to him. Just know that it's not exactly his fault for feeling uncomfortable right now. Don't get mad with him again, please. And allow him to explain at his own pace. He's so afraid to admit what's got him feeling the way he does, and it's not my place to say it for him. Can you promise me that?"

"I… Yea. I'm sorry I made such a mess of things for you, Nams."

"I forgive you, just get your butt upstairs," she smiled at him. He gave a weak mock-salute and pushed himself off the couch. As he made his way to Roxas' room, the girls looked to each other and grinned, already knowing things would be fine between their brothers.

Axel approached the wooden barrier nervously. It took him several minutes to work up the courage to knock. Naminé's words worried him. He braced himself for whatever mood Roxas might be in because of this whole situation and knocked. He heard a barely spoken 'come in' before he twisted the knob and glanced in the room. He spied Roxas looking rather lifeless, dejected and withdrawn. He stepped inside fully, closing the door behind him.

"Um. Roxas?" He spoke softly.

The blonde looked up when he heard his name, taking in Axel's lack of clothing and trying as hard as he could not to check him out. He blushed furiously and turned away. "I… I … You… Please put a shirt on." His words jumbled up in his mouth as he tried to keep his eyes averted from the redhead's  _very_  well-toned abdomen and chest.

"Huh? Oh. Right. Hold on a sec," he left and quickly reappeared a minute later with a plain white t-shirt on, hiding his body from the blonde's eyes. He heard the door shut a second time and looked up, relieved that he wasn't straining to hide his emotions now. The redhead approached the bed, silently asking if he could sit with Roxas. The blonde moved his legs, scrunching them up so Axel could sit in front of him like Naminé had done.

"I'm sorry…" Axel spoke before Roxas could. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. I overreacted and—"

"Axel, shut up for a minute."

"—I didn't–what?" He cut himself off.

"I said be quiet. You don't have to apologize for acting the way you did. I'm the one who's in the wrong right now, not you. I… I was trying… to explain… I just couldn't get the words out. And you got mad about what I said, I'm sorry I hurt you but I couldn't spit it out," Roxas had worked himself up again. By now, the tears had started rolling down his cheeks again. "I wanted to, b-but the words… And you l-left, and I-I was so scared, I didn't wanna m-make you leave, and I…" he hiccupped and tried to stop rambling. He felt arms cocoon him and he realized Axel was pulling him onto his lap. He clutched Axel's shirt and forgot about his internal issues for a moment.

"Roxas… Hey, calm down," he lifted Roxas' chin, looking into azure eyes, "I'm not mad. I promise. Okay?" Roxas blinked the tears out, keeping his eyes closed as he nodded, trying to get himself under control again. "Deep breaths now. It's okay." Axel rested his cheek on top of the blonde locks, holding his best friend until he could speak clearly again.

"…Okay. I'm good, Ax." Axel loosened his hold on the blonde, ready to let him go. Before he could, Roxas gripped his shirt tighter, whispering, "Please don't let go…"

"O… Okay." His arms tightened again despite his immense confusion. Roxas spoke up again, "This… This is easier for me to say what I need to. Because I can't see your face and that makes me less nervous, so… Can we just stay like this for now?"

"Whatever you need Rox. Just take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

The blonde attempted to start several times, losing his nerve each time. He took a deep breath and started again, "I… I want you to know that what I said last night – not being okay with sleeping next to you – it's not because of you. I meant what I said about still being your friend it's just…" He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, willing his pulse to slow down some. "What you told me… It made me think about a few things… Things I never would have thought about before…if… If you hadn't said you were gay…" Roxas felt Axel's chest rise in a small gasp. He was definitely surprised by the turn of events.

"Axel… I think… I… My subconscious has been… Dammit, why is this so hard?" His heart was pounding in his chest. "I've… Lately I've been… I've had these dreams for the past few months… Like, at first, it was this blurry figure in a black cloak with the hood up, hiding their face from me. They would start talking, and I wouldn't be able to hear anything until this voice would say 'You need to wake up' and then I'd wake up. Every time I had this dream, the figure would become less and less blurry, and eventually I could see eyes behind the hood. They were green, like yours… And it never got any clearer than that… Until last night. When I went to sleep, I had the dream again, and… This time, the hood was down, and, the voice telling me to wake up was… It… It was yours."

Axel didn't know how to process this information. His best friend had been dreaming about him? And what was that line supposed to mean? Wake up from what, besides the dream? He was extremely confused again and was about to voice his thoughts when Roxas started explaining again.

"Anyway… I woke up today at about three this morning after that dream… And I've been… Thinking, about you, about myself, and what you told me… And I think that my subconscious has been trying to tell me something important for a while now…" Roxas was silent for a few minutes. He was letting Axel think things through, but he was also trying to figure out how he was going to say what he needed to say.

The redhead spoke as if he were afraid everything around him would shatter if he spoke too loudly. "And what's this something?"

"I… I…I think that I'm at-ttracted to you…" The blonde's face flushed a bright shade of red, almost matching Axel's hair. When the redhead didn't respond, Roxas glanced up, trying to see his face. Axel appeared to be frozen – most likely from shock. Roxas poked a tattooed cheek, trying to get Axel's attention again. He had to confirm his thoughts one way or another.

The taller male blinked rapidly and shook his head, as if clearing his mind. He tried to speak though, and it seemed that he couldn't quite achieve that function yet.

"Axel? I was wondering something… Would you be able to help me with something?" Axel looked at him and opened his mouth to say yes, but no sound came out. He nodded instead.

"C-can you um… close your eyes and uh, l-let me up for a s-second?" His nerves made him stutter – something he hadn't done since middle school.

Axel nodded again and released his hold on the blonde, allowing him to stand up. He closed his eyes as Roxas had asked him to do and waited to figure out what was going to happen. He was still shocked at the blonde's admission and he didn't quite feel the reality of the situation at hand. His mind was firing a thousand thoughts at once, not able to focus on a single one. He thought he'd fry his brain for sure when the thoughts all stopped. He felt a tingle in his lips and his skin broke out in goosebumps when he realized that _Roxas was kissing him_. It was a chaste press of lips against lips, but it was a kiss nonetheless. A chill slithered down his spine and Roxas pulled back, blue eyes searching the depths of green ones.

The blonde was blushing madly and he was obviously nervous about the whole encounter, but kept his gaze glued to Axel's. He spoke so quietly, Axel wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not. "You felt that, right? That…shock?" Axel's ability to speak failed him once more and he nodded vigorously. "C-can I… again?" The redhead's brain had finally caught up to what was happening and he shifted closer to the blonde, giving him the chance to back away if he wanted. When he didn't, Axel reached an arm around Roxas' waist, snaking it up his back to the base of his neck. He pressed his lips against the shorter male's more firmly, his skin breaking out in goosebumps once more.

In response, Roxas brought his arms up and laced them around Axel's neck, leaning slightly more into the embrace. Axel tentatively poked his tongue out to stroke the blonde boy's bottom lip and the seam of his mouth. Roxas gasped, moving backwards just a fraction of an inch with startled blue eyes staring at Axel like he couldn't believe the situation. When Axel dared to open his eyes for the second time –  _when had they closed again?_  – he was amused at the expression on his crush's face. Roxas was indeed eyeing him warily, as though he might even disappear any moment.

"What's with that face, Rox?" Axel teased with a small smile.

"I…" He was still very embarrassed about the whole thing, and probably still not entirely sure if he was attracted to Axel or not. "I didn't…take into consideration your feelings. I didn't even think about you because—"

"Roxas."

"—I was so caught up in my thoughts—"

"Roxas."

"—and my confusion to ask—"

"Roxas." Axel spoke a little more firmly this time.

"—whether or not you liked someone and I mmph—" He was cut off by Axel's lips attaching to his. The touch was just barely there and apparently only a tactic to get him to stop talking. He'd been rambling again, hadn't he?

"Can you shut up for about five seconds and let me talk here?" Roxas nodded dumbly, newly embarrassed by his lack of a mouth filter. Axel continued, "I do like someone. But," he kept talking when Roxas looked like he wanted to protest, "he doesn't even realize that I like him like that. He's so smart but can be so dense about some things…" Roxas furrowed his brow.

"But if you do like someone, why did you let me kiss you?" Axel had never seen his best friend look so insecure.

"Because one, you're my best friend and you're obviously confused about yourself, and two, well… Apparently he's the only one who hasn't figured out it's him I like. I'm not exactly hiding it anymore. My sister figured it out pretty quickly, and if I know one thing about his sister, she's figured it out too."

Roxas furrowed his brow thinking, ' _It can't seriously be me… Can it?_ ' But then again, he'd told Naminé, and he knew Kairi was inclined to gossip… He'd also  _just_  told Axel that the redhead's admission got him thinking about himself. ' _It's just too coincidental. There's no way it's that damn easy._ ' He sighed, already feeling a headache forming behind his eyes. "I need a cig. You, uh… Wanna come with me?" Azure eyes met acidic green and Axel agreed, releasing the blonde to procure the carton of cigarettes and a lighter.

They stepped onto the adjoining balcony to Roxas' room, their eyes adjusting to the mid-morning light of the sun. The angle of the house created just enough shade for them to stand in comfortably, and Axel pulled out two cigarettes, handing one to Roxas. Cupping his hand around the top of the lighter, he flicked the button and lit up. He took a deep drag from the cancer stick and passed the lighter to Roxas so he could do the same. They stood in a comfortable silence for a few moments, each inhaling the smoke from their cigarettes.

Axel attempted to joke, "Sorry that my being your friend made you start smoking."

Roxas replied, "Not like it matters much. I don't even do it unless I get really stressed about something or I need something to calm me down." After a beat of silence, he continued, "Besides, I probably would have started on my own anyways. So I think you just made me skip to the inevitable."

"Oh." Axel looked to the ground, flicking the ash from the cherry of his cigarette. After another deep drag and exhalation of the smoke, he asked, "Have you figured it out yet?"

"Hmm? Figured what out? If I'm attracted to you?"

"Uh, well, that too. But I meant if you've figured out who I like. I mean, if you haven't yet, you're definitely overthinking it."

Roxas was silent for a minute before asking, "Will you tell me about him?"

"I… Yea, sure Rox. What do you want to know?" Axel was somewhat hesitant.

"What does he look like?" was the first question Roxas  _had_  to know.

"I can't tell you that without giving it away. Try again." The redhead smirked.

"Okay… What do you like about him?"

"Well, as I said earlier, he's really smart, but he can also be very naïve, which I think is just cute. He kinda pouts when he's deep in thought; he's compassionate and puts others before himself. He has a close bond with his sister, who always comes first to him. He's a great study-buddy because he takes really awesome notes… He always has to know everything possible about situations before he can analyze things rather than trusting his feelings and… He's pretty much perfect." Axel's cigarette had since burned to the butt and he stomped it out on the ground. Roxas took one final drag and did the same. He remained silent, and after five minutes, Axel asked him, "Still can't figure it out?"

Roxas looked at the ground and shook his head no. It sounded kinda like him, minus the perfect part, but he just couldn't be sure. He didn't realize Axel had come to stand in front of him until he felt fingers under his chin and his eyes met the redhead's. His pulse sped up slightly and he couldn't look away. Axel brought his face closer and stopped when their lips were almost touching. With a lidded gaze, Axel spoke against his lips, "It's you," and closed the distance between them. Roxas felt himself responding immediately, this time not pulling back when he felt Axel's tongue run along his lip. He opened his mouth for the redhead and allowed the muscle to explore and taste him.

Roxas allowed his hands to tangle themselves in Axel's hair while Axel's arms locked around his waist, a hand sitting on his hip underneath his shirt. Roxas removed one hand from the fiery mane and slowly, hesitantly, ran his fingers down the redhead's back, resting on the waistband of his sleep pants. Only after the kisses had transpired did Roxas hear his mom's voice in his mind, telling him that if he thought  _that way_  again, he'd be damned to an eternity in hell. He'd once confided in his mother that he was experiencing some confusion in his feelings and was curious about his sexual identity. His mother had a… negative reaction to that. She'd back-handed him, declaring in a terse voice that "no son of mine is a  _faggot_!" As she stormed from the room, Roxas had idly brought his hand up to the stinging area where he'd been slapped, surprised to see a bit of blood on his hand when he pulled it away. One of his mother's rings had cut him due to the force of her hand. He'd spent the rest of that evening emotionally numb and uncaring.

As the memory replayed itself in his mind, he abruptly shoved the redhead back and off of him. Of course he couldn't just let things continue, but he realized it was probably for the better.

"What the  _hell_  was that, Rox?" Axel's words dripped venom at the sudden rejection. He. Looked.  _PISSED._

"I… I don't…" Roxas trailed off lamely, scared out of his mind. His heart was racing, his skin was flushed, and he felt the grip of arousal fogging his thought processes. But once he figured out that Axel was attempting to trap him on the balcony, his adrenaline kicked itself into overdrive. "I can't  _do_  this right now, Axel! Stop!"

That terrified shout immediately put out the fire of Axel's anger, and he schooled his expression to one of concern. "Roxas, what's wrong?"

"I think you should go," came the mumbled reply. "Sorry."

"Rox," Axel reached out to put a calming hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I said GO!" Roxas curled in on himself, shaking. He was trying hard not to lose it again.

Axel watched uncertainly as the blonde pulled his arms tighter around himself and held himself back from hugging the poor boy when he heard the desperate sounds of Roxas starting to hyperventilate.  _FUCK._


End file.
